Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Russell Brown MP – a suitable case for treatment…

(But being a Scottish MP, he’ll get all the expensive 'in denial' drugs necessary, free from the Scottish Health Service, of course)….

Whenever I get a bit bored, I like to bang off the odd email to my old friends north of the border. Saturday was a case in point, nothing much on telly, just a 4 pack, laptop and an attitude, still seething from 'FalconerGate'….

I have my favourites of course, the mad, bad and the dangerous to know, they’re all there at the other end of a mouse click. Some you get a reply from and some you don’t…. But there is always one that rises - always one that stands out from the crowd. Always one that hits the big bottle of umbrage and sends a broadside right back to me.

My favourite champ of Scottish indignation is my old pal, Russell Brown, MP for Dumfries and Galloway. Russell has a chip on his shoulder the size of a full bag of Barnett formula cash – so we’re talking ‘big’, we’re talking ‘crinkley’, we’re talking ‘braveheart attitude’….. .

I bunged off my email to him….

Dear Russell,
Can you please desist from voting on English only legislation at Westminster. It doesn’t concern you, or your constituents – so please do the honourable thing and go and have a fag in the bogs when the division bell sounds…..

Russell got back to me – on Sunday morning….. so he couldn’t have been that busy, could he?

Mr Wake,
I could have expected such an e-mail from someone from the south of the country, but I am a little surprised that somebody who lives in Lancashire perhaps does not recognise the significant geographical location of my constituency.

There are some people from the local area who attend secondary school in Carlisle and a considerable number of people use the hospital services at the Cumberland Royal Infirmary. Furthermore, many individuals, especially young people attend the further education college in the city of Carlisle.

In other words the provision of NHS and education facilities in England are equally as important to me, and the local people in my area, as are the services provided by the Scottish Executive.

You really do need to be careful about protecting the Union of our nation. If your argument was to be taken to any kind of logical conclusion, then I hope that you realise that you are also saying that London MPs cannot vote on transport issues relevant to the rest of England, because the Mayor has responsibility for transport issues in the city.

Russell Brown
Member of Parliament for Dumfries & Galloway Constituency

Now several points concern me about this reply. He mentions education, health and, because of my email, the threat to the Union – plus a little dig at those from south of Watford ….. Is he having a laugh or what?

Maybe I’ve been double trumped. Maybe he’s fed up with me emailing him under various guises – maybe he’s bunged in those ‘red rag to a bull’ words, knowing that I would ‘get a bit upset’…..

The bit that especially got me was the reference to ‘our nation’. Russell is now apparently a member of the New Labour and Unionist Party…… but not really, as can be seen from the section in his website headed ‘National News’ …… Click on it – 95% of it is Scottish politics stuff, first minister this, Scottish conference that….

Needless to say, I reposted, with an epost…..

Mr Brown,
I don’t need any lectures on Geography thank you – I had those via my grammar school education, courtesy of a rather psychotic, but brilliant geoggers teacher. I originally come from Liverpool – which is quite near Wales, and next year the Welsh will have free prescriptions for all (in Wales, obviously). Now I suffer from Arthritis and every one of my English prescriptions costs the neck end of 7 quid (ANOTHER 15 pence rise has just been announced – hoorah).

With all that ‘cross border traffic’ you referred to in your last email – you’d think it’s going to be a case of me just ‘nipping over’ the border to get my free prescription; because, we all live in one country don’t we? Errrrr, no actually, we do not!. The Welsh Assembly has taken punitive measures to stop what they call ‘Prescription Tourism’ from taking place – ie they are bringing in measures specifically to exclude English people from getting free prescriptions in Welsh chemist shops.

The same is happening in Scottish Universities and English students – punitive measures to stop them going north to take advantage of a non tuition fee environment. (We have tuition fees down here you know, courtesy of…… well, you know who, don’t you?)
Plus, free old people’s residential care, free central heating systems to old people, no matter how rich they are, free eye tests and those oh so expensive life saving cancer drugs like Herceptin (available in Wales and Scotland ON DEMAND – but you want them in England – then forget the Chemist, find a Lawyer!!!!!)

Your constituents can come over the border and still reap the benefits from a subsidised Scottish Executive – not so the other way round. For instance, I bet there are some of your constituents currently residing in OAP care homes in Carlisle. Who pays for their treatment? Of course, the Scottish Executive!!! But who pays for the English lady in the home in Carlisle? Ooooh heck, now let me see........ has she got any savings, a house maybe?........

Mr Brown, as I said before, I don’t need any lectures on geography, nor do I need them on ‘protecting the union’ – as far as I am concerned, the union is a busted flush, courtesy of Blair circa 1998. Apartheid is alive and well and operating within the UK. The English are second class citizens, and have the dubious pleasure of picking up the tab for all the extravagances mentioned previously. I speak as a man who has watched his Mother pay 3 grand for a central heating system – and in the next few years could go into care, so it looks like she’ll have to flog off her house to pay for it. My Son has a debt of damn near 20 grand, courtesy of fees etc (with no job at the end of it) – whilst his Welsh student friends received grants and had their fees paid for them, even though they were at an English college. My other 3 Sons will not be going to College – they cannot afford it.

Mr Brown, apartheid is alive and well and living in the UK - call yourself a democrat? You should hand your head in shame.

Disenfranchised Englishman.

I await his reply.....


Toque said...

Quite brilliant. If he replies, which I doubt, it will be with a nose seriously out of joint.

Waking Hereward 1 : 0 Scottish Raj

Jack Asher said...

Nice work :)

Gavin1066 said...

Nice reply.
I’m English and proud of being a threat to democracy! (according to Gisela Stuart MP)

Anoneumouse said...

And to add insult to injury, we who live in Cumbria, are regularly taunted by Scottish Government, Education and Health Service advertising on the local Television Station.

Montague Burton said...

I concur with the above sentiments. Brown is an oik of the worst order. Whilst I'm from the opposite side of the border, I agree with a lot of what you say and hope that in the future an Independent Scotland and Independent England can continue to be good neighbours, rather than this continual 'you've got free this and we've not' debate.