While ‘freebie Tone’ is away on an Antipodian jolly, PMQs was today taken by fat cretin John Prescott.. Up against him was the Master of quick wit and ready repartee, William Hague.
The performance of the baggy one was gob smackingly inept. Prescott said lots of words – very few in the right order. Hague absolutely mashed him, making him look a bigger whally than he already is. Prescott forgot lots, couldn’t find his notes on ‘spontaneous jokes’ and couldn’t find pre-prepared answers to friendly ‘closed’ questions from back bench Labour MPs. At times, he did a more than fair impression of a tourettedly-dyslexic Eddie Wareing commentating on a Rrrrrugbee League clash between ‘Rorverrrrrrs ‘Ull Kingston versus Trinity ‘kin Wakewigan’.
There was lots of twiddling of order papers as Prescott continued to commit GBH on the English language. Every now and then he would shout out an insult here and a blurt out there. He even accused Hague of being ‘anti-English’. He just threw it in, I’ll have to check Hansard to find out what the hell he was talking about......
The trouble is, will they report what he said as 'Prescott-speak' or will they do a translation job on it?