Thursday, December 30, 2010

Peter Davies, mayor of Doncaster. A few thoughts.

The other night I was having a bit of a FaceBook trawl and came across a link on (English Democrats Chairman) Robin Tilbrook's page. The link took me to a piece written by EDP's Doncaster Mayor, Peter Davies on a site which most of the population have never heard of called ‘Critical Reaction’....

I read it with interest. Originally published in April 2010, Davies tells us how proud he is to be English and what it means to be English. He also tells us about England being balkanised by the EU, the West Lothian Question and our democratic deficit.... Whilst agreeing with the sentiments, I felt the mayor of Doncaster's declaration of love and concern for all things English was too little and definitely too late. To be honest, I have thought for some time that he had signally failed to highlight to the media (and defacto to the English general public) the injustices which Doncaster (and by definition, English) citizens suffer on a day-to-day basis(especially, straight after he was elected in June 2009).

In short, I thought it has been a golden opportunity missed. I left a comment on Mr Tilbrook's page giving my thoughts about it. The comment was considered, relevant and cogent to Davies' piece. It was not rude, nor filled with ignorant bile, it was just an observation about Davies' apparent inability to ever mention the E-word and E-word related issues during his many mayoral pronouncements.

Within 30 minutes the comment had been deleted. A comment so mildly critical had been airbrushed out of FaceBook world - I guess it was deemed just too off-message to be left alone (presumably, it didn't fall into the 'I think Peter Davies is really wonderful' category). Somewhat surprised, I left another message complaining about the tactics of deletion - comparing the action with the behaviour of a government censor. That too was deleted. My final comment asked Mr Tilbrook what were we fighting for? Don't know about anyone else, but I thought one of our immovable and non-negotiable pillars of principle was the preservation of free speech in England...... Again it was deleted. (I guess free speech is fine - just as long as you agree with the page administrator eh?)...

Understandably, I was irritated at such behaviour - and as a direct result of that over-the-top censorship, I have decided to write this piece about Peter Davies, mayor of Doncaster.

In my opinion, Peter Davies; Mayor of Doncaster has been a real disappointment for the English Democrats in particular - and the English movement in general. The shock of the new, his unbelievable victory in June 2009 at Doncaster produced a frenzy of media interest. The national press were beating down his door for a scoop; he came out of the blue and stole the prize right from under the noses of the establishment claque of mainstream parties. He represented a party that few had even heard of - and a cause which if sold to the public in the right way would change politics in this country for ever.

Davies' victory was the story - and it was a golden opportunity to let rip about the democratic and fiscal unfairness of people in England. Unfortunately, Davies didn't really seem to read the script. He seemed to be obsessed with giving us a diatribe in bluntness from a no-nonsense Yorkshireman. One thing's for sure, there was no way he should have been allowed to give us the benefits of his thought processes on the whys and wherefores of council-subbed gay parades in Doncaster and the apparent praising of the Taliban regarding their family and parenting skills. For by doing so he left a gaping goalie-free open goal for the political establishment via their media stooges to heap derision and scorn upon this well-meaning man. Predictably, they filled their boots.

And before long, Davies' left-of-field victory ceased to be the story - supplanted instead by the ruthless reportage of his somewhat individually held views.

During the first few months of his mayoral tenure, there was precious little evidence of a party line being adhered to. And that is the real tragedy, such a wasted opportunity to get the message out there. It should have been a perfect fit - Doncaster, a small town in Yorkshire with big problems is a microcosm for the ailments of England. Instead of telling us what he thought of the Taliban he could have stuck with subjects relevant to his remit - the people of Doncaster.

Doncaster's elderly have to flog off their homes to finance their residential care - just like many hundreds of thousands in the rest of England - but not in Scotland.... The sick of Doncaster still have to shell out £7.20 for a prescription, just like they do in the rest of England but not in Wales, and soon not in Scotland also... Doncaster's students are being unfairly fleeced via ever-rising tuition fees, just like students in the rest of England - but not in Scotland and to a much lesser extent in Wales... etc, etc, etc...

Doncaster's pain is Carlisle's pain, Bedford's pain, Rochdale's pain, Hartlepool's pain and ENGLAND's pain to Scotland's & Wales' gain... And the mayor of Doncaster had an unfettered opportunity to tell the 50 million people of England of that fact.

As soon as Davies won, a comprehensive campaign of information should have been rolled out. Nothing should have been allowed to see the light of day without approval from the collective body. It should have been about comparing and contrasting the standards of services of similar sized towns in other countries of the UK. Doncaster-relevant would, by definition be England-relevant. It was time for the English Democrats' to take hold of the situation and manage this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

It looks like they have utterly failed to do this. There appears to have been little or no strategic advice proffered - and if it was, it doesn't look like it was accepted. This is a real shame. Doncaster's problems are England's problems - and those problems have come about because of insufficient funding, incompetent infrastructures and the lack of any national accountability. It should have been a perfect fit. Davies, whilst talking about the problems of his Doncaster citizens would also be talking about the other 50 million people of England. But it was not to be. Instead, Davies assumed the role of the gobby pub bore. A man with an opinion on any subject you liked.... Which is fine if your audience is an old bloke with a pint of Guinness, a three legged dog and a busty barmaid called Edna... But not if you have the Establishment hacks of Fleet Street waiting for any opportunity to rip you to pieces and blow your credibility into the stratosphere..

I know what Davies thinks of council funded gay parades and the parenting skills of mummy and daddy Taliban - but what does he think of his Doncaster citizens getting far less of the UK spending cake per head than someone in Glasgow, Swansea or Londonderry?

I know what Davies thinks of the European Union, but what does he think of his Doncaster citizens having to sell their homes to finance their residential care when they don't have to do that in Aberdeen or St Asaph?

I know that Davies thinks global warming is a bit of a con - but what does he think of Doncaster students looking at a tuition fee bill of 27 grand for a three year course when it's free gratis and for nowt for a student in Inverness?

We don't know because apart from his general broad-brush article in the hardly known, ‘Critical Reaction’, Davies has as far as I am aware never uttered a word about any of it to the national mainstream and local media. Which is a bit of a surprise - especially as he is representing the English Democrats - a political party whose raison d’ĂȘtre is the enhancement of English empowerment. And that empowerment is only ever going to happen if the great majority of the people in England actually know the facts in the first place.

Like I said, an opportunity missed.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

John Setanmu wonders why English students are getting screwed..

In an interview with the Sunday Times today, John Setanmu, Archbishop of York asks the following question, 'In a UK governed by the Queen in parliament under God, why is England differently funded for university education?'

Answer: Because people in England don't have a national parliament looking after THEIR interests, Mr Setanmu.

Archbishop Setanmu continues, ‘We need a society that values every individual equally whether they live in Glasgow, Glamorgan and Gateshead’....

No we don’t John. We just need an English parliament...

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Lord Barnett Regrets...

The thoughts of Lord Joel Barnett... (in conversation with Gyles Dilnot, BBC).

GD: ‘Is the Barnett Formula a thorn in Lord Barnett’s side these days?’

LB: ‘Well, in one sense it is – in the sense that it’s so unfair and my name is attached to it’..
... Maurice Saatchi told me I should be very proud – some people don’t have these things named after them... Well, I’m not proud of having my name attached to something that’s so unfair now’....

Full interview here

Monday, November 29, 2010

Letter of complaint to the BBC - 24/11/10

Last weekend we in England had to sit through yet another diet of Celtic Rugby Union whilst our own team of England's matches have been sold off to Sky. This is the second weekend it has happened and to be honest I as an Englishman am totally insulted and fed up with this blanket coverage of other countries matches. WE'RE NOT INTERESTED!!!

I don't care about Wales playing (whole of the game shown live last Friday night) I don't care about Scotland (whole of the game shown live last Saturday) - I care about England (no live games shown anywhere on the BBC). And if the BBC cannot afford to outbid Sky then I just wish you wouldn't serve up another country's team as some sort of dullard substitute. CAN YOU IMAGINE SCOTTISH VIEWERS PUTTING UP WITH WATCHING ENGLAND v SAMOA ON TERRESTRIAL BBC WHILE THEIR OWN MATCH IS SHOWN ON SKY?

I find it unbelievably insulting that the English viewer just doesn't seem to count..... But as there is no 'BBC ENGLAND' to fight OUR cause, I don't suppose I am that surprised at the arrogance of it all.

We are 85% of the UK poputation and should therefore be afforded a little more respect. Instead of paying the Scots and Welsh rugby authorities to cover their games - why not save the extra money up (as their matches are being shown to a much larger audience in England they will be paid a much bigger fee than if the respective games were shown purely in their own sparsely populated countries) and try to outbid Sky for England games...

ps - PERRRRLEEEZE do not use the excuse that there are lots of Scots and Welsh people living in England - there are lots of English people living in Scotland and Wales so what does that prove? And anyway - if you were catering for minorities, wouldn't you be covering French, Italian, Argentinian and Rumanian rugby matches as there are many of their ex-pats here also...

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

My Sunday Times letter...

This is my letter, published in the Sunday Times, (6/11/10). The sentences in italics were the bits they edited out...

Sir / Madam,
Regarding last week's article on 'Educational Apartheid of English students by Scottish Universities'
please remember all the other little exclusions that we in England have to routinely endure on a day-to-day basis (apparently in order to keep this gloriously unequal 'Union of Equals' together).

For example there's 'Health Apartheid' - prescription charges of £7.20 in England, free in Wales and soon to be free in Scotland, and expensive cancer drugs off-limits to those in England while freely available to everyone else in the union. Then there's our 'Democratic Apartheid'. England, founder of the modern two-tier parliamentary system is the only country in Europe without a national parliament and First Minister - that in itself is a shameful indictment of those self-serving turkeys in Westminster. We need a body who WILL fight for us in England - and we need it right now. An English Parliament is the only solution!

Monday, November 01, 2010

The Welsh National Opera – (60% funded by the English Arts Council, naturally)....

Sunday mornings means wading through the half a forest worth of supplementary woodpulp that comes with the hernia-inducing Sunday Times newspaper. Most of it is pretentious dross, but now and again you can come across a story that buggers belief – this one is yet another for inclusion into the ever-increasing volume entitled ‘The Union Dividend’....

It's taken from yesterday's Culture magazine’s ‘Biteback’ column written by Richard Brooks...
I wonder if the fat lady is about to stop singing for Welsh National Opera. The 'Lady' is the Arts Council, which gives the WNO a whacking £6.7 million a year. Yes, the Arts Council of England, not its Welsh equivalent, which itself hands over £4.5 million a year to the Cardiff based company. Now, I accept that the Welsh company will perform 25 nights in England over the next year, but all operas, staged in places such as Birmingham and Bristol, opened in Wales, so the production start-up costs, the most expensive element, originate there.

WNO's money comes from the Arts Council, West Midlands. This seems unfair on others such as the innovative Birmingham Opera Company which gets only £350,000 a year, or the Warwick Arts Centre, which receives £525,000. Let's hope the Arts Council of England sorts out this daft anomaly and stops being so generous to the Welsh, particularly at a time of severe cuts....

BTW, in case you were wondering, this is supposed to be the English Arts Council’s Raison d'ĂȘtre as posted on their website...
Arts Council England is the national development agency for the arts in England, distributing public money from the Government and the National Lottery...

And as things are now so tough, Arts Council England have posted this page on their site telling us how they will implement 29.6% of budget funding cuts over the next four years.
Liz Forgan, Chair of the Arts Council, said: 'These are severe cuts, made worse by the fact that around 80% of them have to come in the first two years of the settlement. We are determined to lead the arts through this tough period, using all our knowledge, expertise, and brokering skills, and drawing on the resourcefulness and imagination around us'.....

To aid their quest to find money wherever they can (presumably they've already looked down the sides of the reception sofas) I have helpfully emailed them – letting them know where they can save a whole shed full of cash over the next four years from their West Midlands coffers....

To: Liz Forgan, Chair, Arts Council England.
From: Alfred the OK, English Arts lover..

Dear Liz Forgan,
I’ve got a great idea which can save you at least £26.8 million from your English Arts Council budget over the next four years. PLEASE STOP FINANCING THE WELSH NATIONAL OPERA.... Simples!
It isn’t smart, it’s not clever - and it isn’t even English.

Regards, A the OK.

Monday, October 25, 2010

The man who changed the course of English history... (and I bet you’ve never heard of him).

Last year, we visited the mighty stone edifice that is Salisbury Cathedral. The interior space is just amazing, and walking underneath the massive scissor columns which have managed to hold up the 7,500 ton stone steeple you really do get a feel of the majesty of man’s homage to God Almighty.... How on earth did they manage to build this thing without it all crashing to earth? It’s like they’ve built a massive medieval anti-gravitational device with thousands of tons of stone suspended above our heads...

Down the centre of the space are a few monumental tombs of the great and the good.. Their stone effigies atop each tomb have been knocked about a bit – a nose chipped here, a finger missing there and a few puritan-inspired graffitos etched neatly into a couple of their foreheads. Most of them had an interesting story to tell. One bloke had actually fought alongside Henry V at the battle of Agincort in 1415. The guy next to him however didn’t appear to have done that much – and what’s more, his nose had received a fearfully bashing...

His name was, Sir john Cheney. And that is all that was said about him really. I took this pic’ of him for posterity..
Fast forward to this summer and I read a fine book on the Battle of Bosworth field and the events leading up to it. The psychology of a battle – Bosworth 1485 by Michael K. Jones is a worthy analysis of an epic event which defined the end of the viciously internecine civil war of the roses, the end of the middle ages and the end of the great royal York dynasty. And as I’m reading it, a name, pivotal to the outcome of the battle is mentioned – and what’s more, I recognised the guy as the man who is laid out in Salisbury Cathedral.

For those not familiar with the battle, the fate of King Richard centred on Lord Stanley’s involvement. Although provisionally promising allegiance to Richard, Stanley, his brother and their great private army held firm on a hillside overlooking the mayhem. They finally came down in favour of Henry Tudor. As they made their way to the ranks of the usurper Henry, Richard realised the game was up. Spurning a chance to leave the field and save his life - in a last, desperate attempt to win, Richard led a cavalry charge of knights specifically aimed at killing Tudor who was sheltering to the rear of his army. They came up against a phalanx of Tudor’s pikemen – the only way through was to dismount and fight hand to hand. As they hacked their way ever closer, Henry’s standard bearer was run through and killed by Richard himself.

Contemporary accounts tell of Richard fighting like a man demented, screaming “Treachery, treachery, treachery” as he fought for his crown – and his life. He was literally within striking distance of his great adversary when Sir John Cheney, the man from Salisbury Cathedral rode his horse between Richard and Henry. Richard’s impetus was halted, his shockwave stopped. Richard struck out at the knight’s horse. Steed and rider tumbled to the ground but by then, Henry’s personal bodyguard had rallied and Richard of York fell, hacked to pieces at the feet of Henry Tudor, the royal usurper.

But for Cheney and his horse getting in the way as Richard was about to strike down Henry, English history would have been very different. Richard’s English army had been defeated, Henry and his army of foreign mercenaries had triumphed largely because of Stanley’s treachery.....

The rest as they say, is history.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Growing history... Rufus oaks.

In September last year we spent a few days camping in the New Forest. I'd never been there before, so seeing assorted pigs, ponies and donkeys meandering down busy highstreets of the pretty bustling towns was somewhat of a shock.

The whole area is weird - but in a good way. The locals seem to know the importance of keeping hold of their idiosyncratic traditions - and watching a line of traffic grind to a halt as a couple of donkeys ever-so-slowly crossed a busy road at the height of the rush hour seemed to confirm this...

The landscapes were fantastic, but there were two places I really did want to visit - and both concerned people who had slipped from the mortal coil. The first was to see the grave of an English legend - a man so mystical a huge folklore industry grew around him in life and especially after he had passed on. His name was Harry 'Brusher' Mills (1840 - 1905) - and he was a New Forest snake catcher.

Brusher caught snakes - mostly Adders and boiled them down to make snake lotions and tinctures - cure-alls for many a Victorian ailment. A true man of the forest, for many years he lived in an old shack deep in the woods - a place he called home. Unfortunately, in 1905, some vandals smashed up the shack and trashed his few possesions - Brusher never recovered from the shock and a few days later he died in a room at the back of his local pub, The Railway.

He was buried in St Nicholas' graveyard at Brockenhurst - the locals thought so much of him they held a collection and paid for this magnificent marble headstone.

The second port of call was to visit the spot where William II - Rufus, son of the bastard Conqueror was slain via an arrow loosed by Sir Walter Tyrell in 1100 AD. It's a really atmospheric place. Lincoln Greenery, broadleaves, dappled shadows, the gentle hum of the wind streaming through the gnarled branches of ancient oaks. The trees of England standing sentinel-like around a royal crime scene .... And there it is, the commemorative stone erected by the Georgians then added to by the early Victorians on the site of the battered oak stump - the tree from which the arrow supposedly deflected into the corpulent bulk of the ruddy red Norman king. 'Here stood the oak tree on which an arrow shot by Sir Walter Tyrell at a stag, glanced and struck William the Second, surnamed Rufus on the breast of which he instantly died on the second day of August anno 1100'...

Behind the stone is a big old oak tree. Tradition has it that it sprang from an acorn dropped from the original Rufus oak - and as it was September, the floor was littered with the year's crop of oak fruits. There before me was a direct link to the past and a monumental event in English history. It seemed too good an opportunity to miss. I gathered a handful of acorns and stuffed them into my pocket.

When we got home, I chucked some leaf mould and a bit of soil into some pots and planted them. This is the result. Two have germinated - and I am now the proud owner of a brace of my very own Rufus oaks..... Eat your heart out Alan Titchmarsh...

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

GET YOUR ECO ENGLAND BAG HERE - and give the supermarkets a dig in the ribs (or even in the man veggies)...

Two handled ECO-BAG - great for holding your shopping in! Bin all your plastic baglets with those disgusting supermarket slogans on and get one (or more) of ours!

With our eco-friendly jute bags you'll be helping to keep England green and pleasant - and at the same time give a message to our power-mad supermarkets - none of whom want to admit that England actually produces stuff!

Price is just £3.25p + 1st class postage.
You can buy with confidence via eBay here..

Message says:

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Radio 4, In Our Time - Aethelstan, first King of the English

This week's discussion on Radio 4 is chaired by Melvyn Bragg and discusses how Aethelstan managed to amalgamate the various Kingdoms of England under his own rule...

Listen to the radio programme here

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Alfie, two WAGS and Fabio.....

In Alfie’s new exciting career as a mini cab driver, he has over the last 3 months met some weird, wonderful and sometimes very pissed people (especially on a Saturday night) from all walks of life.

But by far the most memorable meeting occurred last week whilst summonsed to pick up a lady from a gated idyll in the country.....

I knew it was a big gig because I recognised the name of the customer - so I got round to the area concerned double quick like.... Unfortunately, the grounds were so vast I couldn’t find the entrance to her gaff amongst the mile upon mile of neatly trimmed Beech hedging.

After cluelessly trolling up and down the lane past lots of other gated idylls stuffed to the gunwales with Mercs, Beamers and DeeBees I started to feel a bit out of place in my crappola bog-standard wheels with magnetic taxi signage - as well as just a bit panicky because I was beginning to run late.

But no sweat because there in front of me, tottering on her super elevated Jimmy Choos stood a beautiful real live England WAG.... And she was flagging me down.

She climbed into the back seat of my 3 year old black Ford Focus Sport mini cab (classy or what?) – and we were off - on our way to the bright city lights for a girls’ night out. Almost immediately, she got out her Apple iphone and started to ring round a few of the girls.

She spoke in that sort of girly lilting scouse accent that Premiership footy players appear to find so sexy..

“Hiya babe, how are ya?”
“Great, see you there, caiou”....
“I’m feeling great hun”....
“Yeah, it was just, ai-maizing”...

In between textings and phone calls she told me she was off to see her hubby at the England squad HQ in Rustenberg, South Africa at the weekend....

“That’s nice” I said... The ice now broken, and as she knew the England captain, I decided to ask her a question that had always bugged me... “So errr, why does Stevie Gerrard always look like he’s just lost the rent money and swallowed a wasp then?”......

True to the WAG code of waggy-omerta , she stayed waggy-shtum on that controversy, preferring to tell me about her recent waggy holiday in the Med’....... And as she alighted into the throbbing nightlife of the city, she asked if I could pick her up at around 2am and take her home.....

Bang on schedule, I picked her up at the appointed hour. But something was different. This time she had a mate with her and “Would I mind dropping her off?”..

No probs – it was on the way back – and who knows, I might get a bigger tip. I even decided to overlook the fact that the mate was shoving a monster sized BurgerKing flame grilled down her throat in the back of my car – scandalously ignoring the ‘no eating in my cab or I’ll smack you one’ rule...

Ear-wigging the conversation between the two of them, I realised that ‘the mate’ was yet another England squad WAG. Imagine that! Not one but two England squad WAGGERS in the back of my cruddy car!

They talked about how only hours earlier, England had put the mighty Slovenia to the sword. winning 1-0 and thus qualifying for the knockout stage of the World Cup. The mate told WAG 1 that she was not bothering to go out to see her hubby in South Africa unless they got to the Semis.

Some hope, Bob Hope... and no hope.

Eventually, we turned down a tree-lined Avenue and pulled up just in front of a private security van loaded with two 7-foot ex-rugby prop forwards and a couple of guard dogs.

The place, ‘Chez Premier Footballer’ was absolutely enormous. The surrounding walls were sort of castellated in a Colditz kind of way and the only way I could see to get in was through a really small access door cut into the brickwork. I wondered if it had some cunningly hidden murder holes and cauldrons of boiling oil in wait for unsuspecting Jonny Burglars?

WAGS 1 and 2 air-kissed their farewells and we continued our journey a WAG light.

Now alone again, we talked about England. And as she was on her way to the England camp, I asked her if she could relay a few points from this concerned Englishman to her hubby who could then hopefully pass them onto Fabio...

1)Why is England not playing Stevie Gee where he is best and most effective? Why in the whole of Gerrard’s England career, has he been played out of position – usually stuck out on the left in order to accommodate Frank Lampard and other less capable midfielders?
2)Why is Capello obsessed with the pathetic 'footballer' that is Emile Heskey when he cannot even get into the Aston Villa team?
3)Why does Capello persist in playing 4-4-2 when most of the top Premiership teams do not play that system – thus making it an alien playing experience for the England players?
4)Why can’t England have her own national anthem – as GStheQ is the British anthem and definitely not English?

After that bit of a rant it all went a bit quiet save for the gentle guitar riffing of Pink Floyd’s ‘Wish You Were Here’ on the CD.... Eventually, Dave Gilmour’s gruffy growl fell silent and the WAG mused that I appeared to be a real England fan.

“In every sense of the word.” I confirmed.

I told her the word ‘England’ was written across my heart - I told her how I loved this country more than anything, how I thought it the best in the world - bar none. And how it was being completely bolloxed up by a political ruling elite who couldn’t give a toss about us just as long as the union was left intact...

And the fact that England, a country of 50 million people was left bereft of an anthem and parliament of its own showed what a basket case of a nation we had become.

I said that an England World Cup victory was far bigger than just football – a victory would galvanise our nation – a nation systematically pillaged of all self esteem and idea of worth & identity in favour of a pseudo British model...

After that it all went silent. A full 15 minutes had elapsed without anyone talking about shoes, handbags, OK magazine or shopping.....

Eventually, we pulled up outside her pad, she thanked me, tipped me and bade me goodnight.

As I drove away, I hoped against hope that somehow my little list of requests would get through to the one they call Fabio... But after today’s God-awful performance against Germany it would appear not. Stevie Gee was still playing on the left – the team was still attempting to play 4-4-2 without having a clue.... and just when we need a proven goal scorer to get amongst the Germans, the man they call Fabio took off one (Defoe) and brought on the plank Heskey while leaving ‘goals for fun’ Crouchy still sat on his backside....

But still, as I said to the WAG as she got out of the cab, “I’m a taxi driver driving a crappy car in the early hours of a summer’s morning and he’s the England manager on £6 million a year, so what do I know?”...

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Gordon Brown arrives in student-land - so where's Danny the Red when you need him?...

Gordon Brown, his living crutch Mrs Brown, faux hard-man Ross Kemp, Ed 'Gonads' Balls and a cabal of Labour henchmen breezed into some crummy College in Leamington Spa this morning. There, resplendent in sober suit, winning smile and Caesar-Imperial purple tie, the Brownster waved the wave whilst Kemp tried his best to keep the adoring studenty hoards from touching the self-annointed Kirkcaldy one...

No sign of protest here, they're too busy trying to worship the son of the Manse. Young students cheered and whooped - a shoving throng tried their best to bypass the fat bouncer Kemp. The former Eastenders bad boy began to look a bit panicky and a tad sweaty on his baldy bonce as the collective Midlands massive tried to get near the great smirky one. Was it as bad as Helmand Province? Was Basra ever as pushy-shovey as this? Unfortunately, Kemp had forgotten his AK47, stun grenades and TV brother Grant Mitchell - so the only defence was Gordon's strategy of boring the arses off everyone..

"Hi, how's it going?"

"It's good to see you."

"It's great to be here"...

"Hi, how's it going?"

"It's good to see you."

"It's great to be here"...
and so on....

No one screamed "Fascist bastard" or "Scottish one-eyed moron" or anything like that...No one said they would like to give Mrs B one, no one shouted out any knob jokes in the direction of Mr Balls - and definitely no one called Ross Kemp a 'Baldy-Headed Twat'...Which was all a bit disappointing really.....

Because when I was a student in the early seventies, no politician would have dared to saunter into our art college touting for votes. Because then, apart from Che, Jan Palach and Danny the Red, us young Turks were pretty much against everything and everyone - especially figures of authority, routinely dismissed as old fart fascists. The plod were piggies and our parents were contemptuously ignored - except when we wanted picking up from town at 3 in the morning, obviously...

Back to the Leamington Spa love-in.....
Gordon and Ross started a carefully choreographed Q and A with Jonny and Jennie Student. "Jobs, Education, Student Places, Health, Jobs, Jobs, Jobs and...... Tuition Fees" were the subjects of choice from Gordon.

Predictably, the student mass of Leamington Spa never asked why they as English students have to pay tuition fees whilst everyone else in Britain especially those in Scotland, don't. Predictably, they failed to spot the irony of Gordon's oft spewed phrase "Labour, the party of fairness." Predictably they never picked up on the fact that Gordon used the default 'Ooor Country' when talking about English Health, English Policing and English Education matters.... They just smiled blankly, their easily fobbed-off star-struck gobs reflected in the shiny billiard-ball bonce of Ross Kemp's head.

Education, education, education clearly ain't what it used to be...

Sunday, April 25, 2010


After years of pushing, letter writing and email correspondence from many English patriots, it appears there may just be a little bit of light regarding a national anthem for England.

England's Commonwealth Games Committee Board of Trustees have acquiesced to public pressure and are actually asking us to vote on which anthem victorious English athletes should be upstanding to at the next Commonwealth Games in Delhi, India. Appropriately, the vote opened on Friday - St George's Day, so get voting!

The press release spells it out - Commonwealth Games England announced today that they will let the nation decide which anthem is to be played at this year’s Commonwealth Games in Delhi by allowing the public to vote for the song of their choice.....

There are only 3 candidates - and only one that is England-specific - so it should be a no brainer.

Option 1: God Save the Queen. British anthem and hence really nothing to do with England..... Gordon Brown take note: England is not Britain. Apart from that, the tune is about as uninspiring as a tune can be.

Option 2: Land of Hope and Glory. British imperialistic Edwardian anthem which gloried in the ever-expanding British Empire (especially in Africa) during the country-collecting activities of the late Victorian and early Edwardian eras. Irrelevant to England as the 'Land of Hope and Glory' referred to is Britain. Erroneously used in the past as England's victory anthem at previous Commonwealth Games - in our view totally inappropriately. It really does need to change in favour of option 3.

Option 3: Jerusalem. This scores on all fronts. For a start, it actually mentions and is about England. Also, opinion polls have consistently shown it to be by far the nation's favourite choice for an English anthem. The words by William Blake are nothing to do with invading anyone, nor are they disparaging to any of our neighbours - they just embody what a vision of England could be.

Jerusalem really should be England's National Anthem. SO PLEASE DO VOTE FOR IT RIGHT NOW!!!!
If we can get Jerusalem to be accepted as England's Victory Anthem at Delhi in October then it is more likely to be taken up by organisations such as the FA, RFU and the ECB as England's pre-game anthem of choice...

Friday, April 23, 2010

Power2010 - my new best friends....

After a bit of an unsteady start, Director Pam Giddy and the crew from Power2010 just might be getting the hang of this here democracy malarky. That's the kind that listens to what the majority want rather than obeying the malign thought processes of the ruling elite.

At long last, Giddy looks as if she has shed the shackles of New Labour's bizarre idea of democracy - and Helena Kennedy's long shadow of remote controllery appears to have run out of batteries.

Power2010 have today published the findings of an ICM poll which concerns the very biggest of elephant-in-the-room subjects, namely..... “England should have its own parliament with similar powers to those of the Scottish Parliament”.

A full 68% of those asked were in favour of that statement, almost 7 out of every 10 people. Even using Gordon Brown's much thrown 1978 Amstrad Power Calculator, that's a clear and unequivocal majority.

Giddy says: “England was not mentioned once in the leaders’ debate and has not featured at all during this campaign so far. Yet we now know people want a fairer way of making decisions that affect England.

“It suddenly feels like we are on the cusp of seismic changes to the way our politics is done. But so long as the unfair system we have at the moment persists it can only play into the hands of undemocratic voices like the BNP. With all the talk of reform in the air politicians should not duck the English question, but use the opportunity of St George’s day to say where they stand".

So, in the face of a growing and unstoppable grassroots demand for a national legislature in England, what can the Establishment cronies do to rubbish this latest hammer blow to their cosy little club of vested interests and majority disenfranchisement?

Will New Labour poodle Prof' Robert Hazell from UCL's Constitutional Unit again tell us that there is no demand for an English Parliament?

Will Gordon Brown simply ignore us and continue with his strategy of burying England in favour of the ever-so-precious Union?

Will Lord Mandelson blame it on the Icelandic volcanic ash cloud?

Will David Cameron tell us that this poll proves that almost 70% of people in England are in fact 'sour little Englanders'?....

Will Nick Clegg tell us that it would be best all round if England were subsumed into the greater Euro region of Francania?...

Will Jack Straw tell us that the latest poll clearly shows that 7 out of 10 people in England are very violently aggressive and a bit too arrogant for their own good in wanting self-determination for their country?

Or will someone, anyone in the halls of power at Westminster come out of the closet of denial, declare it's a fair cop and that the reinstatement of England's Parliament is the only right and fair action to take.....

Don't bet on it.

One thing is as clear as Gordon's glassy eye. The agenda for devolution has now passed from the control of power crazed politicians and into the consciousness of the English public. The door to self-determination is now unlocked and swinging open. Change is now inevitable, as is an English Parliament. Gordon, Dave, Nick et al, you'd better get used to it - and quick.

So why not register your ire here...

You'd be mad (or a Poodle Prof') not to....

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Gordon Brown - LIAR


Andy Burnham, the Secretary of State for ENGLISH health will be rolling out an initiative today concerning the care of elderly people. As per usual, Andy will try to give a UK Brit feel to the policy - even though it is 100% relative to England alone.

And while we are talking about 'as per usuals' - Gordon Brown, his pathological liar of a boss has got in early for a bit of glory grabbing. This is his piece on the Number 10 website about the proposed announcement. True to form, as with all Health initiatives, Liar Brown gives the impression that the policy will be UK wide

'I’m proud to say that in Britain we don’t just look out for ourselves, we also look after each other. It’s part of the soul of our nation, underpinned by our core values of fairness and responsibility.

And today we face a challenge no other generation has had to confront.

First, from a rapidly ageing population rightly demanding greater dignity, self-respect and support when they are frail and need care most.

And from those with disabilities rightly demanding care that enables them to learn, to work and to contribute to society.

Our current care and support system is no longer adequate for these challenges we see ahead. It cannot meet all our needs, nor match our aspirations. And if left unchanged, it would not cope with the extra demand in years to come.

Our answer is bold, ambitious reform to create a system firmly rooted in the proudest traditions of our national health service: personal care, there for you when you need it.

So today Andy Burnham, our health minister, is setting out the route to a national care service that will benefit every family in the country.

Alongside our decisions to re-link earnings with the state pension in 2012 this will mean a much better deal for our older people - for those to whom we owe so much.

Reform will come in three stages; each affordable, each fairer and each offering more protection to your homes and your savings.

We will start with a radical overhaul of care in the home - helping more of our old people cope longer at home and protecting those of you with the greatest needs from charges and fees for care in your own homes.

Then we will build up the care service, so that people who have been in care homes for more than two years will get their care for free, while also removing the postcode lottery of provision that exists today.

And then these reforms will pave the way towards the introduction of a comprehensive national care service available to all - whoever you are, wherever you live, whatever your circumstances.

Our plans will realise for the first time a vision of personalised care; providing not just physical support but also peace of mind.

These are tough decisions to take in times of economic restraint. But with a rapidly ageing society the costs of inaction are far greater than the costs of reform.

And this is an issue about the future of Britain and the future of our society from which we must not hide. In the national interest we will seek consensus on the right way forward.

So today sees a new chapter opening in the proud history of our public services – founded, as ever, on our enduring belief in fairness and responsibility.'

Sunday, March 28, 2010


One of my favourite films ever is 'If' starring Malcolm McDowell and directed by the great Lindsay Anderson. They've been showing it again on one of the digital channels - and it gave me a chance to rediscover a great piece of music used in the film....

When I first saw it at the flicks in the late sixties, I was knocked out by this track - and (pre Google) spent bloody years trying to find it... Which I eventually did.

Thankfully, YouTube makes it a lot easier...

Friday, March 26, 2010

QuestionTime for dullards, n'er do wells, liars and conniving snake oil salesmen..

Last night, BBC's QuestionTime (along with Dumbleby and his thick-as-a-brick panel) broadcast from Glasgow, Scotland. The audience was really pumped - so worried about all kinds of domestic stuff which might get clobbered in these 'no more boom and bust' times. High on the list of concerns was the great domestic triumphvirate of Health, Education and Policing.

Would 'Health' be 'OK' in these belt-tightening times? Slaphead coffee addict (and Harry Potter character) Liam Byrne confirmed that Health would indeed be 'OK' - but that real savings of over 3 billion would have to be made in the 'NHS' by telling the staff not to take so many sickies, turning used disposable paper undies inside out and giving them to another day-patient... and top & tailing patients 2 to a bed (just as long as they don't have any foot fungus infections, obviously)....

Conservative shadow minister for communities Baroness Warsi, put her oar in as did the hysterical (but not in a funny way) Liberal Democrat communities spokesman Julia Goldsworthy MP.

Uber media honcho Sir Martin Sorrell gave his considered perspective while flashing his ever-so-big and expensive timepiece to camera.

And so it continued. Education and Policing got the same treatment. Concern and worry eminated from all corners as everyone craved reassurance and clarification......

So it was all the more surprising then that the man who had most control over these issues in Scotland was also sitting there on the panel. Scottish government boss Alex Salmond and his cabinet have direct responsibility for the devolved portfolios of Health, Education and Policing in Scotland. But it was like no one was admitting it - especially Salmond. Last night on QuestionTime, presumably for the purposes of deception and spin aimed at us saps south of Carlisle, Health, Education and Policing were once again reclaimed back into the UK fold...

But in reality, the discussion on Health, Education and Policing was totally irrelevent to the invited Scottish audience - no one said a word about the cuts being referred only applying to the English NHS. No one admitted that massive 'savings' are going to hit the English Education System and English Policing...

And then the discussion moved to Stephen Byers and his gang of political prostitutes. The audience mused why had trust in politicians fallen to an all time low?......

Why indeed.

Friday, February 19, 2010

The Seven Ages of..... England.

Last Sunday, I watched the third in the series of David Dimbleby's BBC series 'The Seven Ages of Britain'.

And to be truthful, I am still waiting to see it..... The 'Britain' part of the show, that is.

Because so far, it's been the three ages of England all the way. And a butchers at the BBC's blurb per iplayer edition attempts to reinforce that old habit of the Corporation in trying to Britify everything that is English....

1/7. Britain's story through art and treasure, from the Roman invasion to the Norman Conquest...
Yeah, well actually apart from a cursory reference to the Roman influence in Scotland and Wales, the opening episode of the series concentrated on the treasures of England. It's definitely England's story told through some amazing objects including the head of Emperor Hadrian found in the river Thames, the Mildenhall Treasure found in Suffolk, the World's oldest surviving bible written and illustrated in Northumbria and the fantastic Royal treasure of King Raedwald at Sutton Hoo.... in East Anglia... (that's in England you know!)

Then Dave cuts to the Ashmolean in Oxford, dons his white gloves and starts to excitedly fondle the Alfred Jewel (which possibly hadn't been fondled since Alfred's Queen had a go some 1,200 years ago). It was dug up in the 17th century from an Oxfordshire England. Finally we're over to Bayeaux, France to have a look at the Tapestry - needlework completed by English Saxon women of Suffolk and Essex some dozen years after the Conquest.... (If the Elgin Marbles ever get given back, I think we should have the Tapestry repatriated)...

2/7. Britain's art from the murder of Thomas Becket in 1170 to the death of Richard II in 1400. Wrong BBC! It's more England stuff and in particular, English art. Dave is seen swooning beneath the magnificent hammer beam roof in Westminster Hall, the Mappa Mundi in Hereford Cathedral, a crown from the Crown Jewels of Richard II as well as the King's very own travelling altar piece..... amongst other English stuff...

3/7. Spanning from Henry VIII's accession in 1509 to Shakespeare's Henry VIII 100 years later. You've guessed it! More English art. The amazing Drake Jewel had Dave slavering - and the best miniature portrait painter ever, Englishman Edward Hilliard was given suitable emanence.... Admittedly, there was a bit of a feature about court painter Hans Holbein - but I thought he was a German rather than hailing from the Rhondda or the Gorbals...

The next programme is all about the English Civil War. So that'll mean yet more stuff from England then?

The Drake Jewel.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

The Parliament Oak.... What if...

On the Countrytracks programme last Sunday, (5 minute report, then and now 44:26 in) there was a feature on the Parliament Oak. Situated just outside Sherwood Forest, the tree, at over 1,200 years old, is an ancient and still alive noble oak - and has had an illustrious and specifically English history. It once spanned 8 metres, but now, as with most old oaks, the centre of the tree has gone leaving a few old knarly but still impressive stumps.

A few years ago, the tree was in danger of collapse and the surrounding site was being used as a giant fly-tip. Thankfully, the Woodland Trust have skipped all the rubbish, cleared away the brambles, stabilised the tree, provided information panels and car parking for visitors - and now its future is looking a lot more optimistic.

For hundreds of years, the tree been used as a meeting place. King John conducted a parliament underneath its boughs, as did Edward 1st on his way up to Scotland for a bit of hammering.. But looking at the tree five years ago, you'd hardly know of its importance in England's democratic process, neglected, abused, ignored - a sort of metaphor for our existing non-national democratic process?

That's the history - what about the 'what if?'..

So what if, someone proclaimed a reconvening of the English Parliament under these self same boughs, tomorrow, next week or next month?

What if an elected body - a coalition English Cabinet in waiting was formed - and a manifesto published with outline policies specifically for the benefit and well-being of the people of England?

What if, during that spontaneous English Parliament, it was proclaimed that we, the people of England demanded our God given right for national democratic self determination?

What if that English coalition cabinet applied for international recognition - and asked to join the United Nations?

What if all the media was invited, press releases were prepared and it was widely publicised - so that people in England at last began to wake up?

What if?.....

The Parliament Oak is easy to find and easy to get to, just off the B6035....

Monday, February 01, 2010

Nige calls it a day, (but will he take his desk with him when he goes?)....

Sex mad lothario and Scottish MP Nigel Griffiths is standing down at the general election. He told party members in his Edinburgh South constituency last night that he would not be standing for re-election and would instead take up a job with an "international educational institution".

Well, he had to go didn't he? Griffiths was caught bang to rights, in flagrante delicto with a nice young brunette lady amongst the staplers, tippex and post-it noted detritus of his Westminster desk..

So when he goes, who is going to inherit his government issue ash effect laminated desk - the one with the signed portrait of Gordon Brown and a couple of sweaty naked bum prints on?.....

Nige will not be sadly missed by anyone, least of all by his constituents, who probably didn't even know he was there in the first place. He didn't do much for them - but like virtually every other MP with a Scottish constituency, he claims credit for stuff which falls within the juristiction of his MSP counterpart.

On his website, Griffiths loves to big himself up. Throughout his site, Nige is portrayed as a sort of McRambo man of action for his constituents. It’s photos, photos, photos of Nigel as he gets to grips with the great issues concerning the folk on his patch. Got a problem? Call for Nige – if nothing else, he’ll give you a signed photo of himself to stick on your mantelpiece....

Nigel’s news section on his website is a joy to behold. Within are a series of photo opportunities in which Nigel manages to get himself associated with Al Gore (green issues), Aung San Suu Kyi, the Burmese Opposition leader(human rights issues), a couple of survivors from Nagasaki(nuclear arms race issues) and film star Jackie Chan. But as far as I know, none of these people actually live in his constituency of Edinburgh South..

My appraisal of this vacuous pillock can be found here

Nigel Griffiths with a couple of honeys...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Team Kernow disqualified?

Campaign Kernow (formally the Cornwall Commonwealth Games Association) has been told that it has no hope and Bob Hope of fielding a team in any Commonwealth Games gig in the future. That said, campaigners are hoping that Cornwall can be represented at the Games in Glasgow in 2014.

They are considering submitting a judicial review against the Commonwealth Games Federation. Games organisers called it a "frivolous" act and said they would oppose any legal action.

Graham Hart, CK head honcho, campaign leader, Cornish musician, sportsman and renowned Cornish campaigner (his words, not mine) says, "It is a sad day indeed when the so-called “ Friendly Games “ has forced us to take this action but we will not be denied our birthright, go away or take no for an answer. We are now at the point of taking what we hope will be the final step for acceptance into the Federation."

From the opening lines of the campaign website, Campaign Kernow is clearly a bit of divine cause for Mr Hart - "In October 2002, I was given the vision of taking a Cornish team to the Commonwealth Games. By December 2003 I had put together a quality executive committee, which include international and professional sportsman to form the CCGA. Exactly one year later we applied for membership of the CGF, who refused us ‘ out of hand ’. Since then further researches have strengthened our claim to bring us to where we are now."

Monday, January 25, 2010

Kirsty Winstanley - an English victim of an unequal union

Every now and then, you come across a story which sort of sums up this unequal union of equals and the appalling price that citizens in England are expected pay for New Labour's Grand Plan. When, because you are English, you just don't seem to qualify for stuff that is routine everywhere else in Britain.

Today, supporters of the late young mother Kirsty Winstanley, have been lobbying at Westminster to try and get cerival cancer screening down to the same age levels as the rest of the UK.

This from -

"Kirsty Winstanley, 23, from St Helens, died ten months after being diagnosed with the disease.

She had been too young to be screened in England. If she had lived anywhere else in Britain, she would have qualified.

Kirsty had called for the cervical cancer screening age in England to be lowered to 20, in line with Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Currently, women in England are not invited for the test until they reach 25.

Kirsty's brother Ian Atherton said: "She felt bitter that she didn't have the chance to save her own life.

"If the Government hadn't raised the screening age from 20 to 25 in 2003, she could have had the opportunity to have the smear test, and could have caught it. She would have had two years from 20 to 22 to catch this disease, and actually be able to survive."

Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear Peter.......

To Peter Hain, Secretary of State for Wales

Mr Hain, whilst watching BBC's Questiontime on 14th January, I noticed that in reply to a question from the audience (34 minutes in), about David Miliband and his loyalty message, you said, (and I quote directly from BBC iPlayer), "And actually, when it comes down to it, my constituents say to me... They're not interested in all this nonsense and all this media Westminster bubble stuff,what they're interested in is who's going to take this country forward so that jobs are protected, so that schools are protected, so that the health service continues to be invested in and continues to perform....."

Well, that surprises me somewhat. I mean, seeing that Health and Education are now devolved issues, are the good people of Neath in Wales really that bothered about the English education system and the English health service? Surely, they will be thinking of their own health and education issues when they can actually vote for them - in the elections to the Welsh Assembly?

But maybe they are confused? If they are indeed raising such subjects to you, maybe you should be correcting them - and telling them that Welsh health and education has nothing to do with you. But as Secretary of State for Wales, you can vote on English Health and Education issues but not Welsh ones - and that all enquiries should be addressed to the Welsh AM for Neath?

As you are the Secretary of Wales - and so are presumably defacto aware of the devolution settlement, I am somewhat surprised that you should have made such an elementary error. I would be grateful if you could reply to this and let me know if what you said was, indeed a slip of the tongue - or an attempt to continue to confuse the people of England as to who is responsible for what..