Friday, October 27, 2006

Harold Green

Sad to report that English patriot and senior English Democrats party member, Harold Green died suddenly last night. I only knew Harold for little over 2 years but during that time, I got to know a man who cared passionately about his country, the cause of a parliament for England – and of all things English.

He will be sadly missed.

Friday is English Culture day…

It is decided, every Friday this site will feature a few aspects of the rich culture of the nation state of England. Some will be date relevant, other stuff will be in because I think it should be.

Music - We start off with a jolly tune from Richard Thompson, ex Fairport Convention member and giant of the English folk scene. The track I have chosen to link to is Richard’s signature ditty, 1952 Vincent Black Lightening – mainly because it’s a fab song by a great singer-songwriter and also because I love Vincent motorbikes.
Richard Thompson - 1952 Vincent Black Lightning

Tradition – Flaming Tar Barrels. Oh yes, it’s a health-and-safety free zone on the 4th November in the village of Ottery St Mary in Devon. This ancient and spectacular event has so far given the guys with the clip-boards the body swerve as competitors attempt to outdo each other in the fire carrying department. The ingredients for a successful day’s tar barrelling are lots of flaming tar barrels, lots of beer, lots of volunteers to carry said barrels and more beer. If you are interested in attending, ring the Ottery tourist shop to check out a place to stay.

Nouveau – 28 to 29th October sees the world famous Crazy Golf World Championships at Hastings. Thrill as the ball is chipped through the windmill’s sails, oooooh as it lips out and rolls down the north face of the Eiger, aaaah as those crazee golfers tackle the world’s craziest golf course, how crazy can you get? It’s fast, wacky and crazy, it’s crazy golf – and we have the world championships here! Eat your heart out, USA.

Spooky – 31st October is Duck Apple Night – well, that’s what we called Halloween anyway. Basically we’d spend a whole night thinking of really interesting things to do with apples, string, water and flour – plus the odd exorcism thrown in. One thing is for sure, I’ll have no truck with ‘trick or extorting’ – an American import that should be resisted with a polite but firm “Bugger off before I smack you one” to any kid who knocks on your door demanding gifts with menaces.

Nowadays I settle down to read a ghost story from the genius that was M.R. James, a Victorian Oxford don who knocked out phenomenal stories of the ghostly happenings all based around English folk-lore. He’s a bit of a hero of mine – so I’ll be doing more about him in the weeks to come.

Being the spookiest night of the year, it’s important to remember that spooky things happen on spooky night – such as….

- If a witchball is hung in a window and it glows, it means that a witch is passing by, so there. (and don’t ask me what a ‘witchball’ is)

- Villagers would lock up their cats, believing that if their cats were loose, they would be captured by elves.

- Turnip lanterns must be placed outside gateposts to protect the home from spirits.

So remember to put up your turnips, lock your cat in and make sure you get your witchball before they all sell out. (Tesco are doing a special ‘Traditional British witchball promotion’ in store right now. You can find them in between the Scottish and Welsh witchball displays). Every little helps.

More English culture stuff next Friday….

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

It’s official, the wit of man doesn’t do English devolution

According to Jack McConnell, head McHoncho in Scotland, at the entrance to the Donald Dewar Room in the Scottish Parliament at Holyrood, the following statement is engraved in the stone floor: ‘People in Scotland want a degree of government for themselves. It is not beyond the wit of man to devise institutions to meet these demands.’

Words apparently uttered over 30 years ago by Scottish patriot, academic, writer and Labour MP for Berwick & East Lothian, John P Mackintosh.

I wonder what the late MP would think of the present English conundrum and the apparently insurmountable constitutional balls up south of the border. In spite of lots and lots of nose picking, arse scratching and paper aircraft making from establishment boffins, the solution to our democratic deficit really is beyond the wit of man, woman – and Lord Falconer…..

What we need is a fresh look from a blue skies thinker….. I wonder if ‘Deep Thought’ has solved the answer to life, the Universe and everything yet? Failing that, has anyone got the back of a fag packet to scribble on?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Not wanted by the BBC: English person to review the ECC at Radio 4

I was listening to the World-at-One News on Radio 4 today. Right at the very, very end of the broadcast, taking the place of the ‘dead donkey’ and ‘man discovers a vegetable in the shape of a potato’ stories was a report on today’s English Constitutional Convention meeting at Westminster.

Velvet toned ‘Scoop Anchorman’, introduced his expert guest to give his considered opinion on the prospect of an English Parliament. I listened, wondering which English academic or patriot might sally forth with cogent and forthright arguments as to why the cause was just.

Step forward constitutional nobody, Campbell Christie…….

So who the hell is he then?

Scoop solved the mystery. True to P.C. form, the BBC had wheeled in not an English person to preview an English event, but some Scottish geezer. Apparently, Christie was the former general secretary (ret) of the Scottish TUC and served on the Scottish Constitutional Convention during the late nineties….. in short, Campbell Christie was perfect BBC interviewing material - Scottish, a serial quango-meister and as it obviously turned out, anti English Parliament. The trinity of the unholy alliance wrapped up in one chippy package.

I wondered, sort of naively why no English person could be found to give their expert view. Who knows, maybe all the pro Parliament English people were having their butties and listening to the World at One?

Scoop asked his first question to his invited guest. Did he think the English should have their own Parliament. Christie replied…. "There’s definitely an issue…. I had hoped that an England governed by regional assemblies would have been the answer"..

Well thanks very much Campbell, but we’ve passed on that – remember the North East of England Referendum?

There then followed quotes from the lexicon of smoke and mirrors from Christie…. "An English Parliament would inevitably break up the union"….. "An English Parliament would want more and more power"….. and the coup de classic – "I don’t believe there is any desire in England for an English Parliament"…..

And that was that, job done. Yet another Scot wheeled out to damn the proposal of English self-determination. Yet again, the supremely supine BBC achieved its clammy handed Uriah Falconer inspired brief of rubbishing the English question. Yet again, Nu Labour’s stranglehold on the establishment and on the fate of 50 million English people is laid bare for all to see.

But trust me, things really will change.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

BBC loses England again....

I’m having a whip round for a worthy cause. I’m collecting money for a map of the UK to give to Auntie Beeb – so they can find out where England is.

The latest case of selective geographic myopia exhibited be BBC News is the reporting of the Audit Commission’s damning condemnation of the Rural Payments Agency and its pathetic attempts to pay English farmers the Single Payment Scheme money that everyone else in Europe has already received (including Scotland, Wales and Northern Irish farmers).

The source of their information is a press release from the Audit Commission. The BBC have read it, copied it and shoved it through the smoke and mirrors filter... (It's a good day to bury English bad news in a UK fluffy blanket, so to speak)..

The Audit Commission’s press release is entitled –
National Audit Office Press Notice
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, and Rural Payments Agency: the delays in administering the 2005 Single Payment Scheme in England…..
(in 'England', get it?)

Compare and contrast with the BBC News web page which states that –
Mistakes 'cost UK farmers £22.5m
A series of government mistakes while bringing in a system of agricultural payments cost UK farmers up to £22.5m, the National Audit Office says. Its report on the Rural Payments Agency found the costs related to additional interest and arrangement fees on loans. The RPA was set up in 2001 as an executive agency of the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra).

It is responsible for allocating about £1.5bn under the EU's single farm payment scheme’.....

It’s a bit of a surprise then that apart from the clear as crystal press release title, the 'Notes to Editors' feature at the bottom of the Audit Commission’s press release states that

’The Single Payment Scheme is worth £1,515 million to 116,000 farmers in England.

The Rural Payments Agency is responsible for administering single payment scheme payments in England. Payments in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are handled by the devolved administrations’.

The BBC, willing sycophantic NuLabour brown nosers in the campaign to eradicate England – and to hell with accuracy and objectivity.

You couldn’t blog it up….

I haven’t blogged for a good few days. The reason? Too depressed at the antics of our glorious government as they make yet another wrong turning on the journey of responsible government. The stuff being reported in the media over the past week, on crucifixes, debate, veils, offence, debate, respect and debate - sort of rendered me incapable of any tap, tap, tapping. I mean, how the hell could I compete with that lot?

During the last few days, witness the choreography of oxymoronic invective as battalions of ministerial NuLabour yes monkeys leap above the safety of the focus group barricades to wring hands, mop brows and effectively admit that the great super duper multicultural experiment was going tits up. (None was their fault, obviously – but thanks to their policies, the culture of victimhood and separation are flourishing, the wishes of the majority are routinely ignored and as a result, our society is in meltdown). Last week it was religious regalia and the wearing thereof, this week?
Who knows – perhaps the Iraq war, maybe health service cuts, or possibly giving more power and influence to a few more minority groups,… it could be NICE withdrawing more life saving drugs on the basis of cost…… But it’s more likely to be this report about sleazy voting practices in a banana republic called Yookania…

All pretence that we live in some sort of mature, sophisticated, at-ease with ourselves western society, governed by wise councillors doing what’s best for the people who actually elected them into office has surely been blown to hell in a Kleenex box. This cabal of oafs - fraud monkeys every last one of them, aided and abetted by a flaccid opposition, more concerned with being all things to all people are a disgrace to the name of democracy.

Junta leader, Il Presidente Tony Blair, V.C., M.C., D.S.O and bar, resplendent with a chest full of gold medalia, Ray-Bans and gold plated side arm as bought from ‘’ is just about what a third rate, morally bankrupt banana republic deserves – (and has got).

And that is a profoundly depressing thought.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Dead Englishmen walking….

While NICE are today consigning ever more English people to an early grave, you’d think that someone, anyone might have something to say about it. But no, The King’s Fund, a charitable health service think-tank has assumed the position of a fence-sitting Pontias Pilot on a non decidey, hummy-harri, eeny meeny miney moey kind of day.

Today saw NICE doing what they do best, withdrawing more drugs from English chemists shops. This very expensive range of drugs (costing all of £2.50p per patient per day) are to be denied to English Alzheimer’s patients in early stages of the disease.

NICE has quoted lots of reasons for their bizarre decision, they say they can’t justify the cost of giving the drugs in England and Wales until it’s almost too late to be of any use. But apparently, the drugs are still being prescribed in great big free-for-all bags in Scotland – so that’s all right then.

According to their web site, The King's Fund aims to improve health and health care by developing policy, people and services. We work on a range of issues in a variety of ways. But all our work is characterised by our independent and objective approach; a commitment to social justice; and our desire to ensure we really do make a difference’) So that’s what we need, an in touch, no nonsense appraisal from an independent organisation, with added social justice balls. Surely, they would have something to say about this pernicious policy of health apartheid without end, within the NHS….

Unfortunately, they seem to be in denial, in la-la land, in a coma…. Last week, commenting on the story about some NHS patients in England deciding to buy their own drugs in order to save their own lives (because NICE will not fund them), Tony Harrison, a senior fellow in health policy at the King’s Fund made this joke of a comment. "The NHS is based on equal treatment for equal need…."

Maybe on the planet Scotland it is Tony, but in the drossage that is England, where life is worth less that £2.50p a day, you’d better not fall ill with Alzheimer’s, Breast Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Bowel Cancer or Multiple Myeloma unless you’ve got a whole stash of cash to finance it.

Expert Tony followed it up with this little gem – "This could mean you'd get a patient in one NHS bed who can't have the drug next to a patient in the next bed who can, and that would be so obviously inequitable."

To quote Richard Littlejohn, ’you couldn’t make it up’….

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Not wanted: An English actor to play an English hero…

Just watched the first episode of BBC’s new Saturday night blockbuster, ‘Robin Hood’.

In keeping with the usual casting policy of TV and movie making companies, the BBC has selected yet another foreigner to play yet another English hero. Apart from the rubbish script, appalling direction and clich├ęd editing, Robin of Locksley was played by ‘Jonas Armstrong’, an actor from the Republic of Ireland. His performance was awful, as wooden as the false MDF walls of old Nottingham Castle. Sometimes, his Irish brogue seeped through the forced English accent, he sounded like a pissed off pissed Bob Geldorf when he was trying to save Africa. I half expected him to start screaming at some fat-arsed English merchants – "Give us yuz fooking money, oi want yuz fooking money now!" ….

You would have thought the BBC could have found an English actor to play an English hero….. and hey, who knows, start a whole new trend…….

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

A date for the diary…

Today, 300 years ago, the last Scottish Parliament was held before the union with England.. They had to wait a fair while for it to be reinstated, but it has now, so hooray for them.

What about us then?…..

Apparently, if they gave us our Parliament back, the sky will fall in, all the glaciers will melt, the anti-Christ will be born and the four horsemen of the apocalypse will be searching out all patriotic Englishmen to do them in - and there would be a hell of a lot of unemployed Scotsmen roaming the streets of London….

You see, an English Parliament ain’t as easy as it sounds, apparently it would be ‘dangerous’, ‘wrong’ and ‘anti democratic’…. Apparently, an English Parliament would be a conundrum wrapped in an enigma, stuffed down the back of Falconer’s builder's bum….

The greatest minds in the world – and Simon Hughes have been deliberating, ruminating, vacillating and prevaricating in an attempt to solve the riddle. Not for us the ancient Greek model of democracy that works virtually everywhere else. No, we’re having last year’s bargain basement ideas thrown at us in a never ending paper trail of invective and bluster….

From this simple soul’s perspective, it ain’t that hard to solve. But then again, I haven’t got the brain of a planet have I?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Conference cons…

Just a thought, if both the major political parties owe around 25 million quid each – and are effectively bankrupt, how the hell can they afford the bling-bling conference paraphernalia at both Manchester and Bournemouth?

If they're as skint as they are and have nowhere near enough assets to cover the debts, who is picking up the tab for their conferences?

It’s so true, isn’t it?

Newspaper headline slapped across the front page of Tuesday’s Sun newspaper, presumably about the bloke who tried to get into the back of Number 10 via the garden…

‘Lunatic found in Number 10’…. Amen to that - but hasn’t he been there since 1997?

Monday, October 02, 2006

The world of Google – excluding England, obviously…

Those zany boys at Google UK HQ have been running a bit of a Google Doodle competition – they’ve got kids to design Google logos galore. The reason? As the Chief Google Noodle explains "What does Britain mean to young people today? We asked students aged 4-18 at schools across the country to design a Google Doodle explaining what it means to be British".

So they’ve been trawling the artistic design talent of kids in Britain to get some good Google Doodles – and to make it fair those clever boffins at Google HQ have divided the country into geographical chunks…..

There are entries from Googles Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and……

Oh my God, ‘Google world’ has slipped into ‘Google regio-econo-euro inspired regions of England’. Apparently, there’s now a Google North West, South West, London, etc, etc…

I’m banging off a few snotty emails to the whacky government Poodles at Google, I suggest you do the same….

Humble Watch….

Major excitement in our neck of the woods at the moment. The BBC has rolled into town to broadcast ‘Autumn Watch’ live from Martin Mere, West Lancashire – about 2 miles from Alfie Towers. The build up in a cordoned off corner of the car park has been going on for over 2 weeks now – it’s Winnebago motorhome central round here at the moment. Stuck into the sky is a couple of huge satellite dishes – and there are lots of BBC people with BBC clip boards and pens behind their BBC ears running about looking panicky……… (Not that I’ve been gawping that much).

In spite of my very best efforts, I haven’t yet seen Kate Humble – or even Bill Oddie. However, at last Monday’s quiz night in the Blood Tub Pub, a couple of regulars who work at Martin Mere promised faithfully that they would persuade Ms Humble to partake in a few scoops with the locals at tonight’s soiree….

Admittedly, they were a bit jolly and a bit wobbly – but they seemed 100% confident they could persuade the Humblester to visit our local pub. They’d better, most of the regulars have had a bath specially and everything….