The Times has reported that the great and the good in Team UK are going to be A-OK this winter. The people in seats of power – including Dale Winton and Cherie Blair have all been issued with a jagged little pill. Taking it will thus ensure they will be free from the bubonic bird flu virus should it make it to these shores. They’ll be just fine, they’ll have immunity from the deadly effects of the latest pandemic to come out of the hot and sweaty environs of the far east, courtesy of their secret little pill. So while all us ordinary plebeians are falling off our perches, flying into the window and overdosing on cuttlefish, the golden people, the people that really matter will be safe.
Tony, Cherie and the little blairlettes will no doubt be given one each. So will Gordon McChancellor, whisky-sodden Kennedy, fangs Howard and all the rest of the Westminster waffle machine. Rumour has it that all the top knobs in the BBC are to be given one – and this rather laughingly includes radio and TV presenters – presumably from John Humphrys to Dale Winton and everyone in between.
Whoa there tiger. Before you all start rubbing your hands, shouting "huzzah" and wondering when you are going to get your magic little pill, there’s a bit of a problem. Miracle cures aren’t for the likes of ‘you’ – because you’re just not important enough to have one. To put it bluntly, you’re no Dale Winton are you? There is only enough ‘stuff’ to protect 2% of the population of the Country from Bird Flu. That leaves 98% whistling Dixie – including me and my own..
Am I worried? Err, no!
Bird Flu only affects birds don’t it?
And birds have bird ‘brains’ don’t they?
Well I don’t!
(But I bet Blair and his flock do)….