Another disaster, another opportunity for our glorious leader to practise his acting skills…..
"OK, Tony luv, for this performance, I want pathos, I want pain, I want abject misery….. oh, and throw in a couple of those really long pauses luv. They go down a storm in the USA"….
Tony Blair’s televised statement last night about the appalling massacre in Qana, Lebanon was so sickening. As usual, the troubled staccato delivery was rolled out, Blair, the near weeping leader, with his big doe eyes filling with the salty angst of the world, searching, grasping for words from the Tony Blair lexicon of pain. The pauses grew ever pregnantier, the wistful looks onto a far horizon grew more Braveheart-like. He battled to control the big mass of glottal trembling in his throat. Could he control it, or would he suddenly burst into tears?
Somehow, somehow, our champ of champs managed to pull it off. Tone delivered the eulogy, the little children suffered and died under a 500 lb bomb, precision delivered by an Israeli F16 jet. His bottom lip trembled, the furrowed brow, etched with years of noble sacrifice for the public good aged his youthful good looks by at least another 50 years. Wearily, exhausted and broken, he sighed, his eyes cast down in silent tribute to the fallen youth of Lebanon……… Still, not to worry Tone, cheer up and dry your eyes yer miserable twat – you’ll soon be on your freebie holibobs at Cliff’s mansion in Barbados……..