Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Gordon Brown* clan – fraudulently British..

Question: If Gordon Brown* likes to be known as ‘British’ first and ‘British’ second - and his favourite goal was Paul Gascoigne’s against Scotland in Euro ’96. And he loves to read about British history, like the British Magna Carta, the British Bill of Rights and the British footy team’s triumph in 1966……. why do you think each of the 3 times his English wife was about to give birth, he has whizzed her 400 miles up country to a maternity suite in Edinburgh, Scotland?

Answer Oooooh, let me think. In spite of his British offensive (and it has been highly offensive) I reckon he thinks of himself and his kids as Scottish – and his wifey as British. In spite of what he proclaims about his Britishness, to him the very worst misfortune that could befall his family would be to have his kids born Sassenachs.

By insisting his heavily pregnant wife makes the journey northwards to give birth he proves just what a parochial snob he really is. To him, it’s not about getting the best care he can afford for his wife and kids, after all I would think London could outdo anything Edinburgh could offer – it’s all about giving them his idea of birthright….. Not British, definitely not English – just Scottish.

And what’s this obsession with naming his kids after Scottish Brown ancestors – hasn’t his wife Sarah got any input? She might have liked to call them Jason, Jack, Troy or Wayne….

Definition Corner
*Gordon Brown – noun. Repressed Presbyterian prone to wearing hairshirt tartan underpants. Ignorant perception of history – and geography - and economy. Cannot say the word ‘England’ without throwing up. Delusional control freak. Delusional PM in waiting. Delusional, full stop. Number 2 in the Scottish Raj hierarchy. Known to his friends as ‘Dour Git'. Occasional tendency to dribble from the mouth when asked about his Scottish roots.

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