Fresh from his shameful ‘I feel your marginalised anger tour’ of Scotland, I am expecting Call-me-Dave to make his way over to my part of the world to empathise with our stereotypical scousical alienation. No doubt he’ll be wearing a shell suit, a curly wig, a big moustache, and be telling everyone to "calm down, calm down or I’ll give yer all a Kirkby Kiss"….
Once here, I first expect Dave to sign on the dole, go to the pub for 15 pints of super strength lager – and then meander down to the banks of the River Mersey to make a rousing speech from the balcony of the Liver Building. There to tell the whole world how fed up he is seeing scally scousers always appearing on ‘The Bill’ robbing cars, burgling houses and gee bee aitching pissed Scotsmen on the streets of Sun Hill…..
So Dave, when can we expect a visit so you can empathise with our anger….. I’ve got a couple of stones of crack we can smoke - so should I put the kettle on and go and rob some Jammy Dodgers from the local Spar then?