Monday, July 02, 2007

Marks & Spencer recognise England....



Marks & Spencer risked a huge backlash from Sir Terry Leahy, the new 'Minister for British Groceries' for bravely finding out that England is a country that actually did exist, afterall.

M&S Chief Executive, Stuart Rose declared that their new range of English Milk is going to be a sure fire winner with 50 million milk drinking punters. "It was a bit of an accident really" said Mr Rose. "I was fumbling around in our attic when I came across a pre-war edition of the RAC Atlas of Great Britain. I thumbed through the yellowing, dog-eared pages when all of a sudden I noticed an area of Britain that is - or was called 'England'. It's a huge area, full to the brim with people who presumably drink tea and put milk on their cornflakes"...

"And as I thumbed through those pages, a sort of amazing thought hit me, why not sell milk produced in England as 'English Milk? We could have a flag on it and everything"...


Sir Terry was unavailable for comment last night, but a spokesperson for his department said it was a dangerous precedent which would confuse the average housewife so much she could be in danger of catching cow-pox, mad-milk disease and Englanditis from the sure to be substandard dairy product."I'm not too sure whether Mrs Average actually knows where 'England' is - I certainly don't" he said.

1 comment:

Toque said...

Jeepers, patriotic milk, whatever next?

A few years ago M&S used to label their English cheeses with a golden three lions badge.

They've stopped it now but for a while I used to make a point of visiting just to buy the cheese.

Mrs Toque has signed a solemn oath not to buy Tescos little-englander imperialist cheese.