Thursday, February 22, 2007

Respect to the Westminster massive…..

Africa? That can wait….

Global Warming? On the back burner…

Cash for Honours? In the back pocket ….

Constitutional reform? Talk to the hand before I put a cap in yo’ ass….

For today, the Westminster massive wuzz out on the streets getting down and dirty with the kids on sink estates, you kay, innit. ‘Gun culture’ was the buzz, news crooze, pr pimps, cardboard cut-out party honchos invadin’ any commooni-ee centa they could eyeball was the reality, wannit.

‘Funk Master Tone’ was in the North West, pressing the flesh, groovin the moovin and respectin the turf. The Funksta went into a one to one with a young white Turk, a young black dude, a couple of commooni-ee leedazz and the Chief Plod from the Manchestarr Constaboolaree…. As per usual, Tone’s croo made sure all commooni’ee profile meet ‘n’ greet boxes had been ticked.

‘Call me Dude Dave’, dressed in a cool 2 piece street-cred pinstripe single breaster and over-easy patent leather basketball sneakers was mixing it up with a few rappers. Hoody met Hooray Henry as Dave heard how mean the streets were, how hard the life was and how expensive real street cred sneakers were….

The ‘Mingin Old Dog’ from the Libbin Croo wuzz in a gym somewhere on the wrong side of the tracks. All around him, the brothers were workin out. The Mingsta looked flusta’d – a PR pimp wuzz eyeballin a photo opportooni-ee with a bench press, several hundred pounds of weights and a pair of borrowed tracky bottoms…. The Ming was outta there soona than you could say ‘Pass the smelling salts"…

And so they left. Gun crime got the chin-rubbing, concerned furrow-foreheaded ‘I feel your pain’ treatment from the three great frauds from the Westminster cabal. Back they went, digital piccies in the bag, press releases written up and posted to friendly media moguls. Job done!….. And so ends another day of blather and lather from Tone, Dave and Ming – and what will tomorrow bring? Who knows? The PR pimps haven’t had their morning meetings yet…

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