Tuesday, January 17, 2006


3am. London, Englandshire, Britain….

OK, this is hot off the presses. A reliable source in a certain household involving a dour Scottish man with a pile of cash has tipped me the wink regarding a forthcoming happy event.

Apparently, this very prudent Scottish man and his wife (not called Prudence) are expecting another child. My source has amazingly and incredibly managed to find out which names the proud parents are thinking of christening their newly conceived child……

If it’s a girl…..
Boudicca Britanny-Annia Brown.

If it’s a boy….
Horatio Winston Runnymead Brown.

The proud parents are said to be over the moon at the news. Asked where this little miracle of fiscal expenditure will be born, both parents were keen to declare that "It didn’t really matter – as long as the youngster was born ‘British’, so he or she could absorb all that amazing uniquely British fair play ‘stuff’ that Dad has been going on about since last week……."

However, my north of the border spies have informed me that a ‘Mr Brown’ has booked the ‘Robert the Bruce Mother and Baby Suite’ at the Freedom Wing of the Mel Gibson Maternity Hospital, McDour Avenue, Edinburgh for a delivery sometime in the Summer……

Could it be our good old ‘British’ Mr Brown using a ‘Mr Brown’ pseudonym to revert to a tartan type? I guess we’ll never know….

(But just keep a look out for those tartan nappies swinging on the line in the back garden of number 11 Downing Street)…..


dearieme said...

"Runnymead" - yep, that's the best sort.

alfie said...

Pogo - is that you? If so, where is your site gone?

Are you saying that 'Runnymead' is spelt wrongly, and that it should read 'Runnymede' instead?

Runnymede -(the correct spelling of) is obviously the Magna Carta gig. But would a Scotsman, anxious to ingratiate himself with an English audience know that?

I thought that by putting 'Runnymead' spelt incorrectly, - further ridicule, irony and sport would be showered upon Brown's furrowed brow.......................

It's probably too subtle for most.
(Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it). :-)