Great news! Sir Terry Leahy, CEO of Tesco plc gives Jersey nationhood status! Scouser, Sir Tel' said "We recognise Jersey as a proud and noble nation... their potatoes are really fab', and we sell lots of their wooly jumpers in our bigger stores - so that's good enough for me."
The inclusion of Jersey into the United Nations of TescoWorld is in recognition of the proudyness of its people and uniqueness of the culture.. "Apparently, Bergerac was filmed there, you know" said Sir Terry.
Sir Terry confirmed that a special new flag graphic would grace all Jersey products from now on. "That way, the consumer won't be confused - and will know exactly where the produce has come from".. When asked if an all inclusive Channel Islands branding might have been a better option, Sir Terry thumped the table (product of Sweden) and insisted that all nations had to be respected by Tesco...
Asked about England, Sir Terry loosened his tie (product of Thailand), fingered the rim of his tea cup (product of China) and confirmed that England was too complicated, too diverse and too huge to be called 'a country'...
"And anyway, England has no culture - sure they've made the odd cop show but they're no Bergerac, are they?"
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