Monday, January 29, 2007

A Scotsman in Englishman’s clothing….

I love Thursdays….. It’s a sort of triple whammy of politics shows, 12 noon is the Daily Politics, 10:35 pm is BBC QuestionTime and following that at 11:35 pm, is This Week.

The style of each is completely different. The Daily Politics is quick fire up and at ‘em, QuestionTime is mostly a process of evasion - and This Week is a reflective round up of recent events.

By far the most incisive is The Daily Politics. It works so well because the guy at the helm knows a hell of a lot more than the politicians he interviews. Andrew Neil has a knowledge without parallel in the British political orbit. If there was ever anyone in media Britain with the political brain of a planet then Paxman may think he’s got it, but he hasn’t - Andrew Neil has.

Last Thursday was a case in point. Pious St Harriet of Harman was on the box talking about how very important it was to teach Britishness and British values in all of our schools. She spoke very, very slowly. Gravitas was oozing from every pore…. Harriet was Harmonic. She had her serious statespersons boat on all right, no messing. – Apparently, if our kids didn’t all embrace Britishness, then the Greenland ice cap would shrink so fast it wouldn’t even cool a large gee and tee. …. It was Neville Chamberlain all over again – but this time wearing a flowery twin set… Germany had invaded Poland because too much Teutoniciness was being taught in Berlin’s secondary mods…. And if we weren’t careful the same thing could happen here.

Did I hear a Hallelujah, was God sending down an ‘Amen to that, Sister’? St Harriet fluttered her big fat eyelids and waited for a congratulatory back slap from Andrew Neil. ….

She didn’t get one. Neil went into ‘attack mode’

He stalked….
First of all he picked her up on the fact that she was fraudulently claiming that ‘Britishness’ was to be taught in all of Britain’s schools. It took a couple of incisive jabs with his truth stick – but in the end she caved in and admitted Britishness was an English only thing.

"So, Britishness is only going to be taught in English schools then?"

Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause…

"Yes, but I’ve no doubt in Scotland and Wales they’ll be teaching something simil"…….

He pounced…..
Well I happen to know that in Scotland they have absolutely no plans to introduce classes on Britishness, not now, not for the next 5 years….

The halo on St Harriet’s head, placed there by no less than Pope Tony the Innocent, wobbled..

By the way, what are British values?..

Cue diatribe of values – ‘Fair play, Tolerance, Democracy, Yawn, Tony Blair’s pointy finger, Fish ‘n’ Chips, The Queen Mum, Ena bloody Sharples, Bobby Charlton's comb-over…..…

Well they’re not special to Britain are they? What about America or Germany or Italy? France for instance, it’s ingrained into their constitution ‘Liberty, Equality, Fraternity’…… So British values are the same as everyone else’s…Right?

St Harriet looked worried, uncomfortable and twitchy - was Old Nick himself sitting on her shoulder?…

Not exactly. It was much worse than that, Old Neil had her by the jugular and wasn’t letting go.

"Can I put it to you that the only reason for doing this is to try and head off the rising tide of English Nationalism? Can I put it to you that this is entirely of New Labour’s making due to the fact that the English have been left out of the devolution debate?

St Harriet was squirming. Either she wanted the bog like right away – or Andrew Neil’s truth stick was sticking somewhere where the Sun don’t shine.

St Harriet didn’t believe it was the case… "I don’t believe it is the case" she said.

He ripped her head off, dribbled with it, did a bit of keepy-uppy and smashed it into an open goal.

"So you don’t believe it’s the case? Ms Harman, let me tell you, (jabby finger) we get more correspondence on the issue of West Lothian and the dissatisfaction of the English due to your government’s policies on devolution than anything else. We get piles of emails whenever we raise the issue. The people of England are very angry about it"…

St Harriet didn’t believe it. "I don’t believe it" she said.

"We’ll see what our viewers have to say" said Neil…

They went onto another item somewhere on location, then came back to the studio - and Andrew Neil with a pile of emails in front of him.

"Well, I told you our viewers would have something to say about it Harriet…. We haven’t got time to read any of them out because we’re about to go off air – so you can take them with you"…….

With that he plonked them in front of her.

St Harriet gazed down at the piles of paper run outs. She looked like she’d just been shown some triple x despicable pictures of debauchery from the bowels of hell – or maybe someone farted because she looked utterly disgusted…

Amen for knowledgeable and truthful Scotsmen.

7 comments:

Snafu said...

Alfie, excellent review!

Home Rule for England said...

I saw the Harman interview Alfie. YES!
Andrew Neil is a good lad.

Dazdread said...

Which is the most important for us, the Union or an English parliament. If Scotland devolves then apparently they will not automatically continue European membership and will have to re-apply... there is hope for us yet.

The welsh and Scottish are of course EU driven and an English parliament is not part of that plan, regional assemblies are.

I missed the end where he plonked the pile down :o)

Kevin Wells said...

Nice article, harriet is clueless at the best of times

A Brummie said...

That's fantastic reading - thanks :)

kiki said...

pA片,A片,A片,A片,A片,A片情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品.情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,視訊聊天室,情趣,情趣用品,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣麻將,台灣彩卷,六合彩開獎號碼,運動彩卷,六合彩,遊戲,線上遊戲,cs online,搓麻將,矽谷麻將,明星三缺一, 橘子町,麻將大悶鍋,台客麻將,公博,game,,中華職棒,麗的線上小遊戲,國士無雙麻將,麻將館,賭博遊戲,威力彩,威力彩開獎號碼,龍龍運動網,史萊姆,史萊姆好玩遊戲,史萊姆第一個家,史萊姆好玩遊戲區,樂透彩開獎號碼,遊戲天堂,天堂,好玩遊戲,遊戲基地,無料遊戲王,好玩遊戲區,麻將遊戲,好玩遊戲區,小遊戲,電玩快打情趣用品,情趣,A片,AIO,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,寄情竹園小遊戲,色情遊戲,AIO交友愛情館,色情影片,情趣內衣,情趣睡衣,性感睡衣,情趣商品,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室 ,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園,080苗栗人聊天室,080聊天室,視訊交友網,視訊借錢,黃金,黃金回收,黃金價格,黃金買賣,當舖,中古車,二手車A片,A片,成人網站,成人影片,色情,情色網,情色,AV,AV女優,成人影城,成人,色情A片,日本AV,免費成人影片,成人影片,SEX,免費A片,A片下載,免費A片下載,做愛,情色A片,色情影片,H漫,A漫,18成人,情色電影,自拍,成人電影a片,色情影片,情色電影,a片,色情,情色網,情色,av,av女優,成人影城,成人,色情a片,日本av,免費成人影片,成人影片,情色a片,sex,免費a片,a片下載,免費a片下載,成人網站,做愛,自拍A片,A片,A片下載,做愛,成人電影,18成人,日本A片,情色小說,情色電影,成人影城,自拍,情色論壇,成人論壇,情色貼圖,情色,免費A片,成人,成人光碟18成人,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人影片,成人文章,成人小說,微風成人區,成人交友,成人文學,成人漫畫,成人遊戲,免費成人影片 ,成人論壇,愛情公寓,情色,色情網站,情色A片,色情小說,情色文學

Blogger said...

Did you know that you can create short urls with Shortest and get cash from every visitor to your short urls.