Thursday, April 05, 2007

Tory makeover in Scotland - shock

The Conservative Party in Scotland are considering changing their name. Apparently, the Tories are seen as being too English to your average Glaswegian. It appears that the current moniker of ‘Scottish Conservatives’ isn’t quite Scottish enough. So ‘Call Me Dave’ and his stripey-tied perception panels have been working overtime, running a few suggestions up flagpoles, thinking outside boxes and pushing envelopes as far as they can be pushed. - All in an effort to come up with the new exciting new title (with added newness with an extra special ingredient of an exciting blend of new excitement)…

In a vain attempt to discover the truth, Private Dick, 'Alfie Gumshoe' has been rummaging through a few black bin bags round the back of Conservative Central Office… No luck I’m afraid, I couldn't find any – or more likely they don't exist, the fevered febrile cranial constructs of Tory-Thnk-Tankery & Partners Inc have utterly failed to think up even one satisfactory name.

Ever anxious to lend a helping hand, Alfie, the Edward de Bono of the Blogging world has decided devote a bit of grey matter to this imponderable problem. After much research he has come up with the following list that Call Me Dave can have for nothing on account of his party being a bit hard up and all….

The Hearty Bravehearts

Neeps, Tatties and Sensible Policies

The Clan McTory

The Krankies

Policies Galore

No more Rob-Roy Robbery. (We’ll get the cash from the English instead).

The Sean Connery Fan Club

2 comments:

Toque said...

How about 'The Tartan I-cannae-believe-they're-not-Tories Party'?

Colin Campbell said...

I think Tartan Tories would work. Funny idea that you could change the name and change the image. It would be like polishing turds. One of the issues that the Tories have as you say, is that many sympathetic conservative souls vote SNP rather than Tartan Tory, judging that they have a better chance to knock off the nasty socialist types.