Tomorrow, I shall be exercising my hard won democratic right to vote in the English local elections. The problem is, who to vote for? Which local busy body is deserving of my precious endorsement?
I've scanned the lists and it looks like wall to wall mediocrity. Grey yes people, prepared to defend the indefensible at all costs. The trouble is, when I look at the candidates, I don't see people espousing local issues, I see duplicitous national politics, I see arrogant gravy trainers, I see Blair and his biblical fundamentalist zeal, I see fat twins Clarke and Prescott sweating for different reasons. I see 'Call me Dave' Cameron reinventing himself from 'Nasty Manifesto Writing Dave' to cuddly, fluffy, 'Call me Green Dave 'cos I've got a pair of green wellies in the boot of my Range Rover Vogue'....
I couldn't vote LibDems, I just couldn't - I don't like Hush Puppies and I don't wear any tank top jumpers........
So it looks like Mr Noneoftheabove' will be given a chance to restore my faith in British politics then.....
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Adopt my solution: I give my wife my proxy vote because she retains an interest in these things. I had to do this when those magic-carpet merchants became unavailable to vote for. "Natural Law", was it?
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