Just how happy will Condy Rice be at not meeting the Man of Straw any more over a Lancashire Hot Pot in Blackburn, Lancashire? More to the point, how thrilled will she be when she has to metaphorically share her Airforce 2 bed with new Foreign Secretary and Arthur Scargill's twin sister, Margaret Beckett?.... Jealously is a terrible thing - and as soon as it was known that Jack had a thing going with Condy - and hence just might be more popular with the Bush administration than the Blairy man, his fate was sealed. Who can forget Mo Mowlem's standing ovation at the Labour Party Conference? Blair smiled through gritted teeth as she received a standing ovation. He then calmly gave her the push....... nice.
John Prescott's, lost his marriage, his bit of skirt, his ample supply of OPDM monogrammed underpants, the Governmental truss to keep the heaving Prescott gut in check, the grace & favour supply of Viagra, his marbles - and now he's lost his Minstry Portfolio. Today is a very good day. It could have been much, muchbetter though, unfortunately for us, he's still Deputy PM - so it doesn't mean he's lost Dorneywood, or the fleet of limos, or the Admiralty Arch flat, or the generous pork pie allowance.... and he's still allowed to commit GBH on the English language...
On Wednesday afternoon, Blair declared to the House that 'Chunky Charlie' Clarke was absolutely vital to continue the good work being done at the Home Office. Today he's gone, but not before throwing his toys out of the pram. There you go Charlie, 36 hours is a long time in politics - Indispensible on Wednesday afternoon, kneed in the groin on Friday..... . Chunky Charlie' has now become 'Chippy Charlie' - you'd better watch your back Tone.
His replacement, old Scottish attack dog and closet collector of 'trinkets made from Cannabis resin' John 'Glasgow Kiss' Reid is back bossing the English population as only he can. I smell a Blighty backlash for the new Home Secretary......
'Buff' 'Holiday' Hoon has landed on his feet becoming 'Minister for Europe' - or is he? No one, least of all Buff really knows, but never mind...... Geoff will no doubt be exploring just how he can expand his annual holiday portfolio. Even now he is ringing his calendar - making sure, as a good European that he celebrates every known Saint's day from every single EU country..... Starting on Monday with Poland's little known St Prescottonia, the patron Saint of crap government ministers...... If anyone wants him, Geoff will be found sunning himself at the seaside.
Ruth 'growler' Kelly has gone from Education, replaced by former Trades Union uber-gob, Alan Johnson. Ruth may now have the time to devote to her first love of being a Paul Robeson impersonator........ That old man river, that old man river, he don't say nuthin', he just keeps rollin' along......
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But Mr Johnson is said to have delivered the sole good joke of this government. ("Charles Clarke and I have mounted a charm offensive: I was charming and he was offensive.")
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