Mad dog, you’re a bit of a thick puppy, aren’t you?

"Sit …. And stay. Good boy…. Now stop it, stop it…. Stop doing things with that cushion, you naughty, disgusting little highland baldy mad-dog terrier"…… Sorry, doing a bit of daydreaming there. Back to the everyday grind of Scottish Raj reality.

I’ve just got a letter from ’Mad Dog’ John Reid, MP. Now, I know what you’re thinking ‘shock horror’, John Reid can write?’ Well he can, just! (Although some of the apostrophe punctuation and spelling is a bit iffy)

Good old Mr Reid, faithful four legged friend to Blair the pack leader, the man who put ‘hench’ into henchman and ‘lying interfering bastard’ into ‘NuLabour Westminster Politician’. ‘Mad dog’, the proponent of the "Hey are you looking at me Jimmy" brand of politics and an expert in the execution of the ‘Glasgow Kiss’ has sent me a letter. Oh yes, the original Gorbals growler has delivered his much researched in-depth justification for voting on English only matters via the Royal Mail (so that’s another 25 quid into the exees account then)…..
I have cut and pasted the salient bits of the letter below – his waffle and my translation of it. I don’t know about you but I reckon the mad dog is becoming a delusional ostrich. Pressure, pressure, pressure….

Reid-speak…
"MPs are elected from their constituents to represent them and their interests in Parliament and to assist with their problems locally"…….

Errr, Johnny, baby….. English health matters, English education matters and English transport matters don’t matter to your constituents because they ain’t local to Airdrie and Shotts, mate.


Reid-speak….
"If the only function of an MP was to represent his/her constituents on issues that only directly effect them, then MP’s from Birmingham should not be allowed to vote on legislation that only effects the coastline, or MP’s from London should not vote on legislation that only effects constituencies with coalmines etc. This would be unfair and unworkable".

Utter rubbish – and a totally infantile argument. It’s obvious some ‘blue skies thinker’ from Millbank has come up with this ‘coalmines and coastline’ strategy. I’ve heard it from various Labour stooges and yesmen over the past few weeks. There is no doubt about it, it’s a last desperate throw of John Prescott’s furry dice in an attempt to stem the rise of Blighty-Nationalism. I also notice he hasn’t said anything about himself being unable to pass health and education legislation on his own constituents….. a system he obviously considers to be ‘workable’….

Reid-speak…..
"It is also true that my constituents pay taxes to the UK Treasury to be distributed by them in accordance to the wishes and priorities of the UK Parliament. I therefore have the right to represent my constituents in examining how and where that money is spent. It may be that, currently, the money that Parliament gives my constituency by way of settlement to the Scottish Parliament and direct non-devolved services is greater than the money the UK Treasury receives by way of revenue from my constituency but that is a matter of parliamentary discretion".

Eh up, Reidy admits his constituents are onto a good thing, so why change it, why rock the constitutional boat?

Mad dog, you know what? I don’t think you’re bloody mad any more – I just think you’re running scared. Grrrrrrrr…….