Regional wwwhistle stops.....

Just spent a few minutes trawling around those fine windows on the world of democracy – the Regional Assembly web sites. Judging by the all-new, all-fraudulent slogans, they’ve obviously been at the sherry – and brought a few marketing men in from the planet Bullshit.

It looks a bit suss though. Either most of them have been copying off each other – or 40 monkeys, dressed in red braces and patent leather shoes have managed to type out nearly similar strap lines…. Oh, and the complete works of Shakespeare to boot.

For example, first on my tour was the South East RA. Not content with just the one misleading strap-line of ‘The Voice of the Region’ – the main head on the intro states it’s ‘The Representative Voice of the Region’ ..... As if we were in any doubt.

Breathtaking isn’t it?

Anyway, next we fly northwards to the East of England RA web site. This Region does not have a sexy slogan – just a one word ‘Welcome’ to one and all. The marketing men obviously haven’t been here, maybe they don’t like cow shit on their patent leather shoes?

Travelling onwards and upwards to Yorkshire and Humber RA. Ahhh, this is more like it. Trumpet solo please because Y&YRA is ‘The Voice of the Region’ But not only that, the first sentence on the intro proudly proclaims, completely wrongly that ‘Yorkshire and Humber is Britain’s biggest region’. Not according to Prescott and Brussels it ain’t - Scotland is.

Further north is Herron’s tormented target – the North East RA. Slogan? ‘The Voice of the Region’ (obviously)…. Apparently, (so it says on the intro) the Assembly’s unique strength lies in its ‘breadth of representation’. (But not representation of the people though)….

Across to the North West RA – which it incredulously proclaims is ‘England’s Leading Region’… Not content with that major inaccuracy they further compound it with this little porky – ‘The North West Regional Assembly is an inclusive organisation, with representation from local government, business organisations, public sector agencies, education and training bodies, trade unions and co-operatives together with the voluntary and community sector’ ….. A bit too inclusive though to be bothered asking for legitimacy from Mr and Mrs Public?

Down to the Midlands – East Midlands RA is apparently achieving ‘Progress Through Partnerships’, while the West Midland RA is rather bizarrely ‘Speaking out for the Region’… (Not ‘Speaking up for the Region)….

Our final virtual destination is the South West RA – which is surprise, surprise ‘The Voice of the Region’

Looks to me that the marketing boys have been trolling around the country with the same ideas boards…. I reckon a few identical invoices have been flying around… except to the East of England RA that is. The only Assembly without the regulation strap line. I think we should right this wrong, I think we ought to have a competition to think of a suitable strap for the EERA.

We could offer a prize for the winner. Meeting the Chief Exec’? A tour of the Assembly rooms? A chance to chuck rotten eggs at the jumped up little Assembly Hitlers from the public gallery?

I’ll get the ball rolling – The East of England Regional Assembly – it’s diabolical to your liberty.