Beowulf Uncensored Internet Trailer

Hollywood plunders even more English culture...

The epic Anglo Saxon tale of Beowulf is the latest bit of Blighty-culture to be given the American studio makeover treatment. Due for release in November, this computer rendered epic stars Angelina Jolie as Grendel's Mum and Ray 'have a bit of that, you slag' Winstone as Beowulf himself....... Amazing, an English actor actually playing an English hero, whatever next?.....

And who knows, the script might be more than just OK seeing that ace writer and uber blogger, Neil Gaiman has penned the script.....

Being a CGI production, I notice that Mr Winstone's famously flabby sludge-gut has been airbrushed out of existence - to be replaced by a six pack as good as Peter Andre's in his really crap singing days. No prizes for guessing which attributes of Ms Jolie have been enhanced - eat your heart out, Jessica Rabbit, 'twin torpedoes' has just entered the building.....

But what I want to know is how a drop dead gorgeous babe like Grendel's mum could have given birth to the horror show that is the plug ugly Grendel? I mean, Grendel's old man must have been a right old prune - right at the back of the queue when they were giving out faces, I reckon.

So, who was he?

Hmmm, I wonder whether Ms Jolie has ever been on the lash in Hull - I hear no woman is safe from the attentions of the local MP there...