Big beast, Gordon Brown delivers his big beast of a beasty speech today at the sheep dip formerly known as the Labour Party Conference.
Gordon, who bleeds for Britain via the stigmata on his hands & feet has ordered an extra large truck load of Kleenex today in preparation for the spontaneous sobbing from delegates on the floor. The reason? Well, fair minded Gordon will remind us how important 'fairness' is in today's union of happy nations.
He'll stress how he will crawl over red hot coals in order to deliver his fairness agenda to everyone.... (apart from the English, obviously).
To deliver the speech with the utmost gravitas, he'll also go on about the poor little children in Africa, his rugby injury, his Mansey Dad, his Scottish roots, his kids, his dumpy wife, his Cabinet of all the talents, Nelson Mandela and his fantastic ability to deliver this country from the moron who got us into this mess in the first place - Tony Blair's Chancellor (whoever he was!).....
But most offensively, he'll go on about 'fairness'.
The irony is truly staggering.
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