Labour - just not fair...

This from the Labour Party web site -

A new party political broadcast by the Labour Party will be shown for the first time on Wednesday evening.

The Prime Minister and Leader of the Labour Party Gordon Brown MP and a host of cabinet ministers are shown meeting nurses, teachers, children and business people and hearing of their hopes and concerns.

It highlights Labour's overriding mission of fairness. The fair society. Fairness at home. Fairness in the world - that's the new settlement for new times, and that is what we're fighting for......

And after Gordon's speech on fairness yesterday, it is now more than obvious that 'Fair' and 'Fairness' are the new must-have strap-ons to any statement uttered from any member of the Cabinet of 'None of the Talents'.

I watched the party political. Every single minister managed to shove a lexicon of Fairnesses into his or her spot.

I decided to ring the helpful chaps at Labour HQ to ask them why they thought giving England so little per head of the public purse and also denying us any national democracy were 'fair' things to do?

I ranted.

He stayed mum.

I asked him whether he thought it was 'fair' that people in England still had to pay for prescriptions, still had to pay tuition fees, still had to sell houses to pay for residential care, still had to die for the want of cancer drugs freely available in Scotland.

Still nothing.

I told him I had been a Labour voter - solid for nearly 30 years. But now I had stopped voting for them since 1998 because I considered them nothing more than a bunch of anti-democratic English-hating bastards who wouldn't know a democratic model if she came up and smacked them in the man vegetables with a standard gauge house brick. I furthered that their cringeing policies of celtic patronage will do for the UK within 10 years - and that Gordon Brown was nothing more than a wrong-wired, power-mad arse-nob with an acute Braveheart-Napoleon complex, a sense of humour by-pass, a really crappy smile and a set of reject Charlie Chimpy ears....

Cooly, Mr Labour man said he would pass on my concerns.

Somehow, I cannot imagine he will. Somehow, I cannot imagine, when Gordon touches base at Labour HQ my Mr Labour man, leans over to him and says, "See Gordon, it's not just me, here's another guy who thinks you've got Charlie Chimpy ears"...

If you too would like to pass on your concerns to Mr Labour man, please ring this number 08705 900 200...

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'FAIR' - the 4 letter word...

Well, that's it, I've stood as much as I can. I cannot stomach Gordon 'Stigmata' Brown any more. His speech is as sugary sweet as Bertie Bassett's wedding tackle coated in syrup.

Some people in the crowd are crying - maybe they wish it was all over - or more likely, they have been compromised by the Brown bullshittery. It's like Snow White meets the Muffin Man as Gordy talks about kids, rugby-gouged eyes, Mansey stuff, hard working families, how fantabulous Brrrrrritain is, social justice ......... and FAIRNESS!

Fairness - is the new black, the new Labour Tour de Farce, the backed-up, back-to-basics commandment of the new Gordon Brown relaunch. Fair is good. Fair is fab.

Fair is a four letter word.

According to Gordon, "Fairness is in Labour's DNA" and Labour is "The rock of stability and Fairness upon which people stand" and apparently, Gordon gets really miffed - he "Gets angry when people are treated unfairly!"

What breathtaking hubris. What utter drivel. What a skip-load of lies.....

As per usual, Brown couldn't tell the difference between Brrrrritain (mentioned billions of times) and England (mentioned twice) when talking about health, education and planning issues.

As per usual, English-only health and education initiatives were buried under the Brrrrritish ident. Again, fairness for England is not on the agenda - again, English fairness is a foreign, almost Kafkaesque concept out of reach and out of mind of the Caledonian cretin.

And as per usual, Gordon managed to get into his speech the usual suspects on his check list..

Hard working families - Check
Loss of an eye - Check
Hard working families - Check
Britain is fabulous - Check
Son of a Manse - Check
Hard working families - Check
Union stronger than ever - Check
International conditions so it wasn't my fault - Check.
Hard working families - Check

He's still the Irony Chancellor.....

Big beast, Gordon Brown delivers his big beast of a beasty speech today at the sheep dip formerly known as the Labour Party Conference.

Gordon, who bleeds for Britain via the stigmata on his hands & feet has ordered an extra large truck load of Kleenex today in preparation for the spontaneous sobbing from delegates on the floor. The reason? Well, fair minded Gordon will remind us how important 'fairness' is in today's union of happy nations.

He'll stress how he will crawl over red hot coals in order to deliver his fairness agenda to everyone.... (apart from the English, obviously).

To deliver the speech with the utmost gravitas, he'll also go on about the poor little children in Africa, his rugby injury, his Mansey Dad, his Scottish roots, his kids, his dumpy wife, his Cabinet of all the talents, Nelson Mandela and his fantastic ability to deliver this country from the moron who got us into this mess in the first place - Tony Blair's Chancellor (whoever he was!).....

But most offensively, he'll go on about 'fairness'.

The irony is truly staggering.

Oh to be in England (now the twister season is upon us)...

A procession of twisters forming over a sodden housing estate in West Lancashire, late August, 2008...

Hospital Parking - Scot free (well nearly)...

What a laugh.

The Scottish Government has announced that they are scrapping all parking fees at their Scottish hospitals.

Well nearly. They are all going to be scrapped apart from in the car parks of 3 major hospitals - these are tied into PPP-PFI agreements and the Scottish Government reckon it would cost a small fortune to get out of the agreements...

Unfortunately, while everyone is welcoming the abandonment of the charges, there is some vexation that 3 hospitals are still going to be charging punters and patients alike. Unison branch secretary (Glasgow and Clyde) Cathy Miller said: "No-one agreed with this additional tax on staff, patients and visitors. But we are angry that the minister seems unwilling to be bold enough to remove charges from PPP-PFI sites. This decision will create a two-tier system with staff and patients who are unlucky enough to be on a PFI site such as Glasgow Royal Infirmary being charged for the pleasure."

Hmmm, a two tiered system, eh?

She's right of course - a one tier system is far fairer...... like we have in England!

In England, all hospitals charge for parking, so that's all right then.

And then there's our one tier system for prescription charges, our one tier system for the absence of expensive drugs, our one tier system for tuition fees, our one tier system for abusing the aged and our one tier system for bugger-all national democracy.

Don't you just love our one tiers of joy?