Terry Butcher gets confused....

Terry Butcher, that great big cartoony Englishman - you know, the guy who bleeds for his country is about to become the
Assistant to new Scottish footy manager, George Burley. I have no problem with that - and obviously, when he takes the job, he will be rooting for the boys from the north. Fair enough.

The one thing I do have a problem with is this quote from Tel regarding a possible Scotland v England meeting...

"I'd want England to lose in that situation. But if it came to singing the national anthems I'd probably sing both".

Errr, Tel, baby, no you wouldn't. - You'd only be singing one national anthem - the Scottish one.... because England isn't deemed sufficiently anthemy enough to warrant one.

Welsh full-time, Scottish part-time, English no-time...

Now that Peter Hain has belatedly fallen on his sword, we can be sure of two things. One, the future is no longer orange - and two, Gordon Brown's consequential Cabinet reshuffle has upset some Scots.

The chatter from some folk north of the border today is all about how Scotland has been slighted by their Kirkcaldy boy. His hasty reshuffle has given the Welsh portfolio to Paul Murphy - but Hain used to do two jobs, Secretary of State for Work & Pensions and Welsh Secretary. In effect, secretarying for Wales was a bit of a part-time activity for Hain - but now Murphy will be doing the job, full time.

Unfortunately, the job of Secretary of State for Scotland is still being done by a part timer, in the rotund form of Dour Des Browne. He splits the Scottish portfolio with his busy role of Secretary of State for Defence - so you can understand why some Scots are feeling just a tad ignored.... I mean, population wise, they're over twice as big as Wales, so you would think they should be worth a full 40 hours a week's attention from someone in the Cabinet?....

But if the Scots feel insulted because they only have a part timer as a Minister - how do you think the English feel having a 'no timer' in Cabinet? No 'Secretary of State for England' for us! Mind you, if Gordon were ever to chance upon the road to Damascus, discover some fairness and actually give us some national recognition, I'm sort of betting that the new and sexy post of English Secretary would be filled by Duggie Alexander, Alistair Darling or even Dessie Browne....... (Well, you wouldn't expect the post of English Secretary to be trusted to an English person, would you?)

"Get down Shep, and go and attack that Scotsman"...

Blue Peter was on the telly last night - it was presenter Konnie Huq's last show before she goes off to do lots of toadying for BBC-New Labour Productions (more about that, tomorrow).

The programme almost ended, and a few filmed tributes from past presenters and z-listers were being aired. One by one, the talentless former presenters voxed their tributes to Huq.... "Brilliant" ...."Fantastic" ....."Talented" ...."Blah, blah, blah"..

Then Matt Lucas popped up, as did Vic Reeves. They both luvvie-gushed for all they were worth. At the end of the 'tribute-porn' section, the biggest z-lister of them smirked into view. There he was, capped teeth, botoxed forehead, sincerity stamped all over his insincere face, smirking for Britain...... Gordon Brown, Prime Minister and Blue Peter fan, apparently.

"Konnie, thanks for everything you've done, you've done brilliantly.... Wish you all the best in the future and thank you from all the viewers of Blue Peter"...

Sickening. I mean, is nowhere safe from Gordon Brown's smirking boat? Biddy Baxter would never have allowed it. Is he after a Blue Peter badge or what?

Watching him smirk the smirk, wanting to shove one of my size fourteens straight through the screen, I started to think of creative and novel uses for sticky-backed plastic, bog tubes, a couple of Sqeezy bottles and a 'How to make an AK-47 from everyday household objects in one easy lesson' instruction book....

Gordon, here's one I made earlier.....

Does Scotland get its fair share?

Well, what do you think?
Does it?
Personally, I reckon the title should read -
'Does Scotland get more than its fair share?'.....

I should cocoa.

But being that the headline came from a story on the BBC website, publicising a radio piece, you don't think that the organ that has a slogan which proclaims 'Nation Shall Speak Peace Unto Nation' - but really means 'Mouthpiece of the Westminster Establishment' would say it as it actually is do you?

The first four paragraphs in the piece tells you all you need to know about how the BBC sees England - and how subservient they are to the mushroom principle as instructed by the Brown Gestapo.

'Free university tuition, free personal care for the elderly, free prescriptions on the way. Has Scotland become the land of the free at the expense of Britain's other nations and regions?

Ruth Olifant studies anthropology at Aberdeen University. She and her English friend Anna have to pay tuition fees capped at £3,000 per year, unlike their Scottish friend, Annie.

Ruth says: "It does feel a bit unfair sometimes. It's absolutely essential that I work so I can survive, really, because you have this extra burden, this extra debt."

Anna is more resigned: "Scotland is a separate country, it has separate powers. Obviously I'd like to not pay fees - that would be fantastic but you can't brew about it." '

Oh, can't you Anna?

It reads like a Janet and John book, and I find both the web report and the programme deeply offensive. All summed up by this pathetic piece of puppy dog journo' babble -

'What angers MPs representing English regions is the system by which money is allocated to the Scottish Parliament - not by tax revenue but by something called the Barnett Formula'.

By something called 'the Barnett Formula', children. It's a sort of gift that the English people who don't have a country give to the clever, chippy people who wear skirts and eat deep fried Mars bars alot.....

Woodward and Bernstein, it ain't. MPs don't represent English Regions, they represent English constituencies - constituencies in England, don't they?

The BBC's obsession with the renaming of my country as 'the English regions' has really teed me off. The shambolic amateurism of the piece is par for the course, and it really does have to stop. I'm bloody fed up with all the constant rewriting of geography, history and honesty, courtesy of the BBC and its Ministry of Truth Division. Therefore, within the next day or two a campaign will be started to show these fantasists up for what they are - a bunch of lying toerags.

The CPRE - England's only hope?....

OK the gloves are off.

It's the people of England versus the occupying forces of Gordon Brown and his determination to ruin our country beneath a concretion of houses, more houses, nuclear power stations, runways, reservoirs and even more houses.

This man and his trowel simply has to be stopped.... right now. And there are two ways to do it - we can grab hold of his theodolite and shove it where the Sun don't shine - or we can act together. The people of England need to wake up from their New Labour induced comfort zone and get protesting before their birthright, the English countryside is turned into Airstrip One meets Barratt Homes meets Nuclear Holocaust.

Can I implore every patriotic English person out there to join the Campaign for the Protection of Rural England (CPRE). Being a body that fights for the rights of natural England it is obviously not state supported - so they are desperate for money to enable them to fight for England. I don't want my kids to grow up in the world's first coast-to-coast concrete country - and I bet you don't either.

They are currently mounting many campaigns around the country against the Government's draconian building programme. A couple of note are campaigning to get a larger part of the South Downs declared a National Park and fighting the huge housing plans for the West Midlands.

Join the CPRE, tell your friends, blog about their work - and help to fight for England before our green and pleasant becomes more Brown and nasty than it already is.

Before it is too late

UPDATE - I have also rung the CPRE - primarily to let them know about the Witanagemot Club - and the ever growing band of online English Patriots.

They were very suspicious and cagey..... I ranted. "Time to defend England! You know, against 3 million new houses, nuclear power stations, etc, etc..." The guy I talked to says they have a blog - I advised him most strongly to get the blog and the cause more visible by joining the Witanagemot Club.

The future is not orange, hopefully, it's not Brown, either...

Peter Hain, looking determined as he fights for his political life.

Peter Hain is fighting to keep his political gonads, luxury lifestyle and complimentary tickets for the 'Club St Tropez' tanning salon. Apparently, the Golden Vision had forgotten to declare 103 grand of election funding to the powers that be. Typically arrogant - and with his usual Vainity, Hain has vowed to continue, citing 'pressure of work' and 'administrative errors' for the cock up.

Meanwhile, in Brown Towers, the Scottish granite bites his nails, swears a lot and curses Tony Blair for all his current ills. The great clunking fist is in a white knuckled fury as another one of his cabal of mundanity sticks the boot into his credibility. He frets, he swears, he hesitates.... and in the end, it will do for Brown, the man who cannot make a decision to save his political life....

GMTV - shamefully manipulating history.....

GMTV have duff information. They must have, why else would they get the date of Shakespeare's birthday so wrong? As first reported here, GMTV are conducting a bit of a campaign about another Bank holiday for Britain.

They have suggested 'Beatles Day', 'Diana Day', 'British Forces Day', or 'Shakespeare Day'...... Along with their suggestions they have thoughtfully put forward a suitable date for the celebration.

According to GMTV, Shakespeare Day should be celebrated on the 21st April... which is a bit weird don't you think? Especially as his birthday and the day of his death is the 23rd April.

So why would GMTV do that? Why would they suggest a date just 2 days away from the Bard's ultimate day...... If you want to celebrate Shakespeare then the day to celebrate him is the 23rd, isn't it?

"Hmmm, forsooth, Horatio, methinks something is afoot. Could there be yet another dastardly government plot to rewrite history?". Do you think that it just could be that if GMTV suggested the 23rd April it might, just might, then be conflated into a Shakespeare, St George's, English Day? Do you reckon they've had someone whispering in their ear?

Ooooh, 'eck. The English supporting English culture eh? The very idea, that would never do, would it?

Durrrrrrrr, English MPs suddenly find out, 'NICE'... aren't.

The great pig-troughing, self-congratulatory, waistline-busting blob of supine-excess that is the membership of 'Club-Crap 500' (English MPs at Westminster) have sort of suddenly realised that English people are getting a bit of a shabby deal on the drugs front...

A super-duper special Select Committee has worked out that 'NICE' are actually not nice at all. In fact they've been found bang to rights as being penny-pinching and vindictive to English people....

"The select committee found the rationing body was denying potentially life-saving drugs to hundreds of English people by taking much longer to approve them than its Scottish equivalent.

NICE was also criticised for actually turning down life-saving drugs that are available in Scotland".

So why has it taken so long for that shower to 'fess up and admit that 50 million people have been shafted? Maybe they were fooled by the 'NICE' bit? If so, maybe they should take a closer look at 'SAFE AS HOUSES' - the independent watchdog for the nuclear industry and 'CUDDLY' - the people who look after freed sex offenders?..

And I'm not too sure about Gordon Brown's little baby - The Campaign to Unify the Nation, Today.

Joined up thinking....

You really do have to give total respect to this government, don't you? Their single-minded Stalinist vindictiveness knows no bounds in their obssession to do what they think is right for 'the country'- no matter what the cost to its people...

Take yesterday's Cabinet decision to build 20 new nuclear power stations 'across the country in order to meet the energy needs of the UK well into the century', for instance.

It's the end-game in a long line of cynical manouveuring and mis-information designed to make the little inconveniences that are the nimby awkward-squads of England go away forever. Obviously Alex and Rhodri have robustly declared to the people who elected them that no new nuclear installations will be built on their hallowed celtic sods - so Ministers have gone into England default mode. - 'The country' needs them, so 'the country' will have to have them built, no matter what the cost...... And as we all know, 'the country' = England.

How to get your power stations built - an easy step by step guide to nuclear delivery.

1) Instigate an Energy Review - ensure that it comes up with the 'right result'. And if a Judge cries "foul" - 'Nuclear Review was misleading. 'A judge ruled that the consultation process before the decision last year had been "misleading", "seriously flawed" and "procedurally unfair". simply ignore it and plough ahead.

2) Having ignored the nosy Judge and the interfering hippies at Greenpeace, Darling, the then Minister responsible proclaimed - "The government had reached a preliminary view that it would be in the public interest to allow energy companies to invest in nuclear power".

3) Bring in a 'Planning Reform Bill' (England only, obviously) As the Parliamentary blurb puts it - Calls for the establishment of a new separate planning system for major infrastructure projects and simplifying the planning system for minor home improvements. In many cases formal planning permission will no longer be required. Applies to England.

For all you lovers of the language, the 3 key words here are 'Seperate' (it won't be), 'Simplifying' (projects will be railroaded through) and 'England' (dustbin of the UK).

4) Announce your new nukes. Job done.

5) Oh, and finally - make sure that the people of England have other things to think about.

But just hang on a mo' there matey boy, there's a hell of a lot of nuclear waste languishing around already, isn't there? So where the hell are we going to shove the tonnes of glowing stuff that we already have? Where should it go..... well where do you think? Obviously, it's got to go somewhere in 'the country', hasn't it?

In 2006, David Miliband the then Minister responsible, loftily proclaimed that he would invited councils to bid for the bright green poisoned chalice. If they agreed to take it; you know, that's the stuff that will remain radioactive for the next 100,000 years, then they would be hansomely rewarded with a bribe of a few million quid. As the Daily Telegraph reported at the time,

Around a third of the land in the UK is thought to be geologically suitable for this purpose. Most experts believe that a single repository could only be sited in England, as Scottish and Welsh communities would be likely to resent English waste being dumped on them.

Good job Scotland and Wales are not in 'the country' then.

And after 'much searching' the usual supine suspects at Copeland Council have taken the 30 pieces of glowing silver. 75 million quid to be precise, for nearly a 100,000 lifetimes of hot potato stewardship..... to say they have been bought cheaply is a bit of an understatement. For anyone who doesn't know, Copeland is amazingly within England..... what a surprise.

And what of our fine elected body of over 500 English MPs. What are they doing to try and stop the unfettered desecration of the jewel in a silver sea that is England? Well, obviously, they're too busy filling in their expenses claims, voting through nice gold-plated pensions for themselves and sitting on their superannuated arses to be bothered.