The 2012 logo....

You couldn’t make it up could you?

Well apparently, someone has - and charged Emperor Seb Coe half a million quid for the privilege.

Design consultants, Wolff Ollins have obviously deployed the ‘new clothes’ strategy in the rolling out of their 2012 logo. to a startled country.

So what’s the new clothes strategy then?

Simple. Someone spends about half an hour producing a right load of old scroat – the graphically crappier the better.. Then they stick it in a nice posh folder for 6 months, ready for the pitch to the client.

Now the really tricky bit – the invoice. This is where the real creative thinking comes into its own. Think of a number, double it, treble it, add several noughts – then round it up to the number of grains of sand you can get in a bucket. Dig out some good words – ‘dynamic’, ‘inspiring’, ‘epoch-making’, etc - and chuck them in the job description. Ask your Mum what she thinks (she’ll always say how fantastic it is, cos she’s your Mum) and stick that on your invoice as well, but call it ‘Market Research’. Once you’re happy with the amount, send it off to the unsuspecting client, or ‘Emperor’ as he’s known in the trade.

Then, before he can ring you back to tell you to ‘Shove your invoice and crap symbol up your jacksy", get one of those posh art experts to wax lyrical about the ‘dynamic form this’ and the ‘modern look that’ of your amazing piece of art. This is where you may have to dig into your pocket to get them ‘on-side’… a couple of Leonard Cohen concert tickets should do it.

The client will be so cowed, so bamboozled – he dare not say anything for fear of appearing to be a complete and utter thicko to the whole world.

The deception is now almost complete. Just the general public to impress….. Nah, on second thoughts, forget them – how gives a toss about what they think?

Kerrrrching!