No shame….

Bandwagon alert as Tony ‘cool Britannia’ Blair and David Donald Cameron have both come over all ‘adjacently patriotic’. Ever anxious to jump onto the latest host ‘must be seen with’ cause, jock boys Tone and Dave have parasitically attached themselves to the banner of St George in the belief that they can garner kudos from an English sporting celebration.

For Call me Dave, it’s yet another opportunity to big up his populist agenda – for Princess Tony it’s a chance to give a body swerve to ‘ChippolattaPrescottgate’, ‘Homeofficegate’ & 'Cashforhonoursgate'....... and who knows, if Becks and the boys should win the World Cup, how galling will it be to be received at Number 10 by two fawning Scotsmen, Princess Blair and Dour git Brown. God, I feel sick just thinking about it.

All we need now is for Ming to declare he is wearing St George’s flag undies and has just had 3 lions tattooed onto his bum and we’ll have a full house of Scotsmen selling their tartan souls for a bit of adoration by association, by osmosis……

Arise, Sir David Beckham………

And then, last night, I strolled into Tesco on a bit of a spying mission. Rumours are they were ‘supporting England’ I could hardly get in courtesy of the simply massive England beer display, St George’s bunting, flags, face-painting….

Shock of shocks, they were even selling products with a St George’s flag on the packaging. Admittedly, they were only bottle openers and chiller bags, but even so, I thought it was simply amazing. You’d have thought that because England is such a complex and huge country, it would be absolutely impossible to do such a thing. I’d have thought it would have brought the entire Tesco empire to its knees, everyone’s arses would drop off, Coronation Street would finish – and the world as we know it will end ……. just like Charlotte, Eve, Linda and Kim from Tesco customer care are always telling us……