So I said to the lady at NHS HQ….

"Hello, I wonder if you can help me, a Government Minister has hailed the increase in dental check-up charges as "Making the system fairer and simpler for everyone."

"The rise in charges is envisaged to be up to around £12 – but I understand that there will be no check up charges whatsoever for people living in Scotland. They will pay absolutely nothing, it will be totally F.O.C"…..

"F.O.C.?"

"Free of charge."

"Oh dear, I thought everyone in the UK had to pay. I didn’t know that some people got it free while other people have to pay.

"Well it ain’t, people in England always have to pay. In Scotland it’s free, courtesy of the Barnett formula. Now that’s the kind of system that really is fairer and simpler – don’t you think? The Barnett formula modus operandi is to get some other mug to pay for your health obligations… It just isn’t right is it?"

"Oh I agree."….

"So why can’t the people living in England have free, free, free check ups – as of right?" And why is charging us in England £12 per check up more 'simpler and fairer' than charging the Scots 'nix'?

………………………………………………………………………
- Pause pregnento interminable – and then some………
………………………………………………………………………

"Let me get back to you with an answer."

I’m still waiting.