The UK Youth Parliament - It’s young, it’s dynamic, it’s all happening - NOT!

Hooray, it’s the UK Yoof Parliament!

They’re there to speak up for the kids, to tell all those old fart controlling fuddy-duddies at Westminster exactly what they can do with their skewed view of democracy, the appalling West Lothian fit-up, the English-only tuition taxes fiasco - and the tax on lollipops..

And guess what, this isn’t some tin-pot rabble of supa-strength cider-drinking delinquent losers – oh no, they’re organised, their leaders press the flesh with lots of Establishment movers and shakers, and only last week, some of their members were on the BBC news 24 station waxing lyrical about ‘knife crime’ and how to solve it, innit.

Of course, in order to spread the word of the young right across the UK, they have devolved youth organisations in Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland ....... But not in England, obviously.

And after an email to ‘Tom’, one of their funky, young leaders (I’ve put a tenner on him becoming Prime Minister within 30 years), I was told that there were no plans to introduce an English Youth Parliament.... and they also had no thoughts on devolution, or on how the skewed UK constitutional model could be fixed.... “As an organisation we don’t have a particular viewpoint on devolution.... Basically we are a youth organisation and the creation of an English parliament is not an issue which is at the top of young people’s priorities.” Regards, Tom, FPM (Future Prime Minister).

I don’t know about you, but I thought being young was all about swimming against the flow, having an attitude, being a bit of a pain in the arse for what you believe in – and asking ‘Why’, ‘Why should I?’ and ‘Why not’ a lot. But apparently, I’m wrong. The UKYP appears to be little more than a sort of Kindergarten, ’Toddling-Politics Crèche’ for budding Establishment politicians –‘Join the UK Youth Parliament – and ready yourself for a life in politics, courtesy of the taxpayer’

Just what is the point of setting up a youth parliament that is not only a ‘Mini-me’ clone of the flawed, self indulgent and corrupted big boys version at Westminster - but again ignores the English and national English representation?

And now it seems all so predictable! Delving a little deeper, it appears that the UK Youth Parliament is bankrolled by the UK Government, while the devolved youth parliaments are financed by the corresponding devolved administrations.....

This taken from the UK Youth Parliament News Archive -

'UKYP received from Government only £110k for the 2002/3 year and £165k this current year whereas we understand that Funky Dragon(the Welsh Youth Parliament) received around £280k in 2002/3'.

The DfES sponsored review we hope will address such resourcing issues as well as structural options. As the report points out, there is no English Youth Parliament so UKYP effectively provides that function as well. It works in particular with local authorities and the emerging English regional structures. This is a direction favoured in many political quarters rather than an England wide approach. Mrs Hodge’s comment on the "need for [a separate] English Youth Parliament" brings an added dimension to the debate."

Amazing, the Welsh version gets not far off three times as much as the the UK model, no doubt thanks to the good old Barnett Formula cash box - and the UKYP is doubling up as an English Youth Parliament. Some things never change - don't you just love it?

Alfie versus the Co op (ethical fraud monkeys)....

“Hi, is that the PR section of Co-op banking?"

“Yes”

“Are you the environmentally sensitive Co-op that defends Amazonian Indians and who will not accept business customers unless they fit into your ethical matrix?”

“Well yes, that’s correct. We think it’s important to have standards. We will not deal with businesses who engage in nefarious activities such as arms trading, the destruction of the rain forests... or indeed, those who would wantonly exploit native peoples”.......

“Like the native indigenous people of Amazonia?”...

“Exactly..... And our fantastic new Co-op ‘THINK’ credit card really does spell out in full our ethical credentials. Not only does it reward you for making ethical choices on your purchases, but also makes a contribution of 25p for every £100 spent to Cool Earth, a charity that buys and protects the rainforest against development. But thinking ethically doesn't stop with thinking green, which is why we have identified Ethical Partners that consider other important issues, such as fairtrade, sound sourcing or animal welfare - it's all important in making a difference to our world.....”

“And that policy regarding the protection of indigenous peoples – that applies to all indigenous peoples around the world, wherever they might live in the whole wide world, right?”

“Exactly right....... If you are interested, I can send you some literature on our ethical and green credentials if you like?”

“No, no, let’s save a tree or two - don’t bother sending me anything...........
But, before I go, can you answer me this one nagging question I have?”

“Absolutely”

“My question is – If you consider it totally wrong to put a concrete development in the middle of the Amazon....”

“Absolutely wrong”

“Yeah, if the Co-op considers it totally, absolutely wrong to build a town in the Amazon, then why is it totally, absolutely right to build a new town on a verdant green field site in the middle of the Leicestershire countryside? And not only that, why is it totally, absolutely right that the wishes of the indigenous people of rural Leicestershire will be ignored for the sake of a fast buck – and the consequences of that fast buckery will be that they will be displaced by the bulldozers so that a new town can be built? And why is it totally absolutely right that the developers of this projected new town on verdant green Leicestershire countryside is none other than the Co-op?.......

“You know, the very same 'ethical', 'moralistic' and supposedly ‘green’ Co-op that apparently defends the rights of indigenous peoples, everywhere...... except those who live in England, apparently......

“Tell me, in view of this appalling abuse of ethics and the total disregard afforded to green issues, will the ethically inspired Co-op be cutting up all the credit cards of 'the Co-op' – and refuse to bank for them because of the wanton vandalism, exploitation of the indigenous population of rural Leicestershire and for putting naked greed above your ethical mission statement so brazenly forwarded at every single opportunity?

“Well, will you?”

“Let me put you on hold”.....

A minute later, and he’s back......

“Hello..... Yes, well, the ECO development in Leicestershire is an ECO driven initiative. It is reclaiming some old land, including an airfield – and putting it to good use, in the most ECO sensitive way.”

“What’s with all the ECO prefixing? You know, and I know that Caroline Flint, the Housing Minister has admitted that the ECO Town initiative is little more than an exercise in opening up the English countryside to urban development. ECO does not stand for ‘Ecological’ it stands for ‘Economy’ – making money at the expense of others.

“And anyway, I think you will find that the airfield is actually nothing more than a very thin airstrip. It is a thin strip of tarmac on a green field – unfortunately, you don’t just want to build on the thin air strip, or even on the green field which has the thin airstrip on it – you want to build on all the other many green fields that surround the green field with the airstrip, don’t you? 15,000 people are projected to be living in this new town, with many more to come. Isn’t it a fact that a lot of that supposedly brown field land is currently being farmed by you the Co-op, currently the UK’s biggest farmer with over 70,000 acres under the plough.

“Silence”

“Let’s cut to the chase. Let’s just stop with all the ethical bull. Let’s tell it like it actually is. The Co-op is just the same as every other massive money business, greedy, mendacious, opportunistic. Only in your case, you’d sell your Granny for a few bob – just as long as she was wearing green slippers and that her false teeth weren’t made of elephant ivory.

"You need to think of a new slogan. Instead of the all the green ethical stuff, just try and be honest.... How about ‘The Co-op, greedy low lives, eager to shaft the locals, even those in the Amazon (once we open our Rio branch)......"

“But......”

Don’t try to flannel me with the ethical rubbish, the green rubbish or any other eco waffle. You are planning to concrete over and despoil forever another piece of English countryside. You’ve been bought by a dour Scotsman’s gold. You should be bloody ashamed of yourselves..........

CO-OP DEFINITIONS -
Non-indigenous English farmer....

Indigenous Amazon hunter....

English countryside, redefined as 'brown field'....

The Amazon, the jewel in the Co-op's crown....

It's started. English-only Planning Laws clear way for new nuclear power stations in double quick time...

'At least eight new nuclear power stations are to be approved within the next two years and built swiftly under fast-track planning procedures....

Gordon Brown believes that they will be needed to avoid an energy crisis in the next decade, and more will follow as the world tries to reduce its dependence on oil for power'......